


There's A Possibility

by hufflepuffmultifandom



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2018-12-18 00:48:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 46,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11863152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hufflepuffmultifandom/pseuds/hufflepuffmultifandom
Summary: Bella gets closer to the wolf pack and develops a deeper relationship with one wolf in particular. [Re-write of New Moon]





	1. Chapter 1

Mom,

I'm fine, I don't need to come to Phoenix. Forks is my home now, Charlie needs me, I want to be here. Don't worry about me I will get over this, you just need to give me time.

I love you, and Phil.

Love, Bella

I finished typing this short email to my mother and sent it before climbing back into bed and laying there. I didn't do anything anymore if I could help it and sending the occasional email to Renee took a lot out of me.

It had been a few weeks since  _he_  had left. I didn't go to school for a few days, just slept, or tried to. Whenever I would sleep, I would dream about him. Him leaving, telling me he didn't want me anymore, and I guess I couldn't handle it. I would wake up screaming, feeling like someone had punched a hole through my chest.

Charlie ran into my room every night, stood by my bed for a few minutes and then went back to bed. He had no idea how to handle this, but he never talked to me about it. Which was the best for both of us, it would hurt too much to talk about it and we weren't exactly the best at talking about our feelings.

But after a few days he told me that I had to go back to school, or I had to move back with mom. So, I went back to school. My friends had tried to talk to me but I barely heard them, I almost never responded and I assume they gave up. I focussed on my school work and my grades started improving immensely because I used it as an escape.

For a few hours, anyways.

I started to form a routine. I would wake up, usually hours earlier than any normal person, but I couldn't go back to sleep, and then I would check my emails. Usually I only had one or a few from my mom, depending on how long it had been since I had last answered her. When I thought it was early enough I would start getting ready. I didn't really care how I looked anymore, as long as I was clean, and so it didn't take me very long to get ready.

Then I would go downstairs and make Charlie and I breakfast. It's not that I cared much about eating, but if I found some new recipes I could think about that instead of other things. Then Charlie and I would eat, usually not talking. He would leave for work, I would leave with just enough time to get to school and not be late, that way nobody would try and talk to me. Not that anyone tried to anymore.

I would go to all of my classes, barely eating at lunch, and then go home. I would do my homework, taking my time to think through everything. Then I would make dinner for Charlie and I, sometimes finding complex recipes to take more time than usual. After dinner, I would go over my homework again, double checking it. Then I would do something around the house. Then I would go to bed again.

My day was boring but full of things to do and ways to try not to think about anything. It didn't work for long but in those brief moments of concentration I felt almost complete, sane. And then I would feel crazy, broken, terrible.

I knew it wasn't normal, but I didn't know what else to do. I didn't know how to change anything. I thought I had been loved by someone and here I was, alone, not loved by him anymore, possibly I never had been. I didn't know how to handle it, either, my friends and family weren't the only ones.

"Bella?" I looked up from scrubbing the kitchen floor to see Charlie standing in the doorway, looking uncomfortable. "Bella, I'm worried about you."  
"I'm fine, Charlie," I told him, very used to him saying this. I went back to my scrubbing, being very precise about all the cracks between all the tiles.

"Bella, I think you should go back to your moms. I don't think it's helping you to stay here," he told me. I looked up at him in horror. I would not leave, I could not leave. I had to stay here.

"Dad. I'm not leaving."

"Bella, you don't go anywhere anymore. You aren't you. You're just an empty version of my daughter. I don't know how to help you and I want to. But you don't see or talk to anyone other than me, and even then, you barely talk to  _me_. That can't be healthy."

I was thinking furiously. I couldn't leave Forks, nowhere else would be home to me, not anymore. If Charlie wanted me to see someone, spend time with someone, that's what I would have to do.

"I'll call Jacob. I'll ask if he wants to spend time together. I'll call him tomorrow after school. Please, dad, just let me stay," I pleaded with him, and I think hearing emotion in my voice shocked him. He just stared for a few seconds before nodding once and going back to his tv.

I let go of the breath I hadn't realized I was holding in. I finished scrubbing the floor and then went upstairs. I guess I would have to call Jacob tomorrow. Maybe it wouldn't be too bad, I thought before falling into a terrible sleep.

* * *

**This is my first multi-chapter story, let me know what you think or if you have any comments! I am a Twilight fan and I do love the stories, but the New Moon story really irritates me. I don't like how Bella copes (or rather, doesn't) after Edward leaves her. So this is just my re-write to make it less annoying for me. Hope you all enjoy!**


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up the next morning feeling the way I did every morning. Empty, exhausted from just thinking about getting out of bed, and I wanted nothing more than to just roll over and get a full night's sleep. But that obviously wasn't going to happen and so I got up and got ready.

Downstairs, after making breakfast, my dad brought up Jacob again.

"So, you're going to call Jacob tonight?" He seemed uncomfortable talking to me about it, like he was scared he would say the wrong thing and make me crazy.

I nodded, I didn't feel like talking whenever it wasn't necessary. He didn't say anything more about it and he eventually left to go to the station. The day went by without incident, and even if it had I probably wouldn't have noticed. But the day did go by quicker than usual, maybe because there was something I had to do later tonight that was different from my usual routine.

I got home, dreading company, but I knew I needed to do this, for Charlie at the very least. I sighed, grabbed the phone off the wall and dialled the number written on the paper beside it. It rang twice before I heard the phone connect and then-

"Black residence, this is Jacob," I heard a cheerful voice say and it surprised me when I smiled a little. I guess I couldn't help it, Jake was such a nice kid.

"Hey Jacob, it's Bella," I paused, before adding, "Bella Swan." I waited for a response, worried about him being confused with who I was and why I was calling.

"Bella! Wow, it's so great to hear from you! It's been a while, what's up?" He asked me, sounding genuinely happy that I was calling him. That surprised me but I took some comfort in him not being put-off with me.

We talked for a few minutes and then I was in my truck about to head over to his house. Most of me felt the same as I had for weeks, tired, depressed, hollow. But a small part of me, a part that I didn't know had even survived, was almost… excited to see Jacob. There was something about him that I just couldn't help but feel better when I was near him.

When I got to Jacob's house I pulled around to the garage so that we could hang out in there, he had told me he was finishing up on one of his cars and I didn't want to stop him from working on it. As soon as my door was open I felt myself being pulled from my seat and I felt warm, strong arms around me. After an almost-bone-crushing hug Jake put me on my feet and I got a good look at him for the first time in months.

"Christ, Jacob! You're huge! What the hell?" I blurted, because, well, he was  _huge_. Like, beyond huge, he was at least 6'3" and he had gotten very much in shape. It was crazy, even if it had been a few months since I had last seen him, it was unbelievable.

"Well, that's what happens when you don't see someone for a few months," he told me, smirking a little with pride.

I closed the door of my truck and we walked over to the garage. I sat down on a stool in the corner of the garage and he walked over to the fridge.

"Want anything to drink? Water, soda, juice?" He asked, turning to see me shrug my shoulders.

"Sure, soda sounds good," I said. He grabbed two Coke's and leaned on the side of the car after giving me my drink. I took a sip, realizing that I would feel awkward with anyone else because we weren't talking, but I wasn't. I was very comfortable with Jacob, probably because he wasn't watching me like he was waiting for me to have a mental breakdown.

"So," I started, not knowing if I wanted to have this conversation but also knowing that it needed to be done. "You're probably wondering why I've been AWOL for a while, or waiting for me to freak out or something. Charlie probably told Billy what happened," I regretted bringing it up now.

He didn't say anything for a few very long moments, instead he picked invisible fuzz off of his jeans. Finally, looking back up at me, he shrugged and said, "I know what happened, and I also know that you don't want to talk about it right now. I don't want to push it, so if you ever want to talk, let me know. But until then, I won't say anything," he said very seriously.

I was so relieved, I smiled and nodded at him. My face felt weird, this was the first genuine smile I had had in weeks, it felt stiff and awkward. But it was nice to smile and not worry about being put into a situation that I didn't want to be a part of.

Jacob would be my harbour in the storm, and I would forever be grateful to him.


	3. Chapter 3

"Do you need me to make you something for dinner after school? I'm going over to Jake's, we're going to study," I asked my dad at breakfast. It had been a week since the first time I had gone to Jake's and I could already feel a difference in myself. I was still depressed and I still had my nightmares but I didn't have them every night and I finally had something to look forward to.

Dad looked at me, he still seemed very cautious around me, like I was glass and he was waiting for me to shatter. He shook his head no and said he would go to the diner, he hadn't been there in a while.

I waited until he left for work and then I went upstairs and finished getting ready, leaving myself just enough time to get to school without being late, like usual. I still wasn't feeling up to talking to most of my friends at school, and I doubted most of them even still considered me their friend. They had all given up trying to talk to me and I didn't blame them at all.

I knew that eventually I would have to make it up to them, but I wasn't there yet. I knew I wasn't ready to talk to any of them about what had happened and that would definitely be their first question. Most of them weren't as understanding as Jacob.  
After school I went straight to Jacob's and waited in his garage for him. I sat in the corner where there were less tools and got started on my homework. Twenty minutes into my math homework I heard some people, boys, talking and laughing loudly just outside the garage. A few seconds later Jacob was walking through the door, followed by two boys that looked to be about his age, but they weren't nearly as tall as him. They were still bigger than most sixteen year olds, they were bigger than most full-grown men I knew. What the hell was going on with growth spurts down here?

"Hey, Jake, sorry I thought we were hanging out today," I said, quickly starting to pack up my books. "I can go, we can hang out another time." I kept my head down, I don't know why I was getting so upset. Obviously, he had other friends that he would rather hang out with, I needed to get a grip on myself.

"Bella, are you okay?" I heard Jacob ask, but I didn't answer, I didn't trust my voice. I started for the door before I felt someone's hands on my arms stopping me from moving. I stared down at my feet. "Bella," he whispered, so that only I could hear, "Bella, these are two of my friends from the rez. Quil and Embry, they just wanted to meet you, of course I'm still hanging out with you."

I looked up at him and saw obvious concern all over his face. He brushed his thumbs across both of my cheeks, wiping away tears that I hadn't even realized had come. I laughed a little at myself, how could I think that Jake would abandon me? I was being stupid.

"Do I look horrible now?" I asked, quiet enough that Quil and Embry couldn't hear me. Jacob shook his head, and I knew he was lying just to be nice but I appreciated it all the same. I smiled at him and put my bag back down where I had been sitting earlier. Taking a deep breath, I turned to see Jacob's friends.

"Hey, sorry, I'm not crazy I swear, I'm just going through some stuff and Jacob is the only person that's really there for me. I'm Bella," I added after my obvious nervous babble.

"Hey, I'm Quil Ateara," said the shorter of the two boys. He had a cocky smile and seemed very confident in himself. I smiled at him and his smile seemed to get even bigger, like it was a big accomplishment that I would be polite to him.

"I'm Embry Call, nice to meet you," he said, "Jake has told us a lot about you." He smiled and he seemed very kind, his smile was warm and he just seemed… likeable.

But I wanted to know what Jake had been telling them about me.

"Oh yeah? What has he been saying?" I asked cautiously, did I want to know? I saw Jake give them a warning look and I pretended I hadn't. They may have just been trying to embarrass him.

"Oh, you know," Quil said, and I could see that he was trying to embarrass Jacob, "he's been saying that you're his girlfriend." Quil started howling with laughter and Embry laughed a little bit too.

I turned to look at Jake and I saw the anger in his features, but I could see he was mortified at what his friend had just said. I knew that he didn't think we were dating, I wanted to defend him.

"Well, Jake is my best friend, and I am a girl," I pointed out, but from the fact that Quil seemed to laugh harder I knew I had said the absolute wrong thing. So I tried again. "So, do you guys have girlfriends then?"

It was Jacob's turn to laugh, now. My question had seemed to sober Quil up, he had stopped laughing very quickly, and Embry just smirked a bit. I knew I had hit the mark and I turned around to smile at Jacob, he was still laughing but I could see the gratitude in his eyes. That made me feel much better, when Jake was happy, I was happy.

"No, Quil's taking his cousin to prom," Jake said when he was finally done laughing. And we spent the rest of the afternoon together, the four of us. Usually it was Quil and Jacob pretending to fight and me and Embry betting against who would win. This was the first time I forgot about him, and I felt genuinely comfortable around other people again.

It was a nice feeling, like my body was beginning to warm up after a long winter. I could definitely get used to it.


	4. Chapter 4

"You can do this, it's fine, they're your friends, they'll need to be apologized to but they will forgive you. Just go and talk to them, sit with them at lunch and say something nice," I thought to myself.

I took a deep breath and walked towards the lunch table and went to sit in the empty seat beside Angela, I knew she wouldn't judge me as much.

"Hey," I almost whispered, I really didn't know what to say after almost two months of not speaking to anyone.

Angela smiled at me, "Hey, Bella, how are you?" She asked me, and I was so relieved that she didn't say it like she was concerned I was a bomb that was about to go off at the slightest provocation. She asked me like it was any other day and nothing had happened. I was so overcome with emotion, I hugged her. And that is not very normal for me, so it was a little awkward but I think she understood. I started eating my lunch to avoid people staring at me.

"...and I'm telling you, it was a huge black animal. It looked like a bear but it was almost double the size," I could hear Angela saying, obviously in response to the conversation the group was having. I looked up to see Mike and Jessica quickly look away from staring at me, I saw Lauren glaring at me. I knew that she wouldn't be happy about my being here again, and I honestly didn't care.

"You probably imagined it being bigger than it really was, Angie," I heard Eric saying. Everyone else looked like they doubted Angela, too. I remembered Charlie talking about something to do with this.

"I believe you," I said, and thinking that might not help her, I added, "I mean, my dad has been hearing a ton of people saying they all saw huge bears in the forest, but they checked and there aren't any bears. No footprints, caves, no sign of them. It's actually been causing a lot of problems for him."

Everyone turned to look at me, stare at me, gape at me, whatever you wanted to call it. It was like the first day of school all over again, I was the weird girl that had been MIA for weeks, and I guess this could have been worse.

"See, it's not just me!" Cried Angela, triumphant. "Even the police department has been dealing with this." Angela smiled at me, grateful for my encouragement. Everyone seemed to be confused about what they were going to address, my talking to them, or Angela being right about whatever was in the forest.

I guess they decided to choose what was less awkward because then Ben said, "See, I always knew my girlfriend was smart, I never doubted her for a second." And that was when the argument started about who had actually believed her and who was just pretending. I smiled to myself and started eating my lunch, it felt nice to be around my old friends.

After lunch I walked to class when Mike caught up with me, which I had not exactly been looking forward to. I hadn't been blind last year, I knew he liked me, and I had hoped that after a while he would move past it, but I don't think he had. I saw him all the time at work, because I worked for his family, and it still seemed very much like he liked me.

"Hey! Look at that, Bella's back!" He said very enthusiastically, reminding me again of a golden lab. I shrugged my shoulders and nodded my head, I really didn't want to have this conversation, just the effort of lunch had been a lot more than I was used to today.

"So," he continued, completely unaware of my absolute lack of enthusiasm, "did you maybe want to hang out tonight? I know we both aren't working. We could go to the movies or watch a movie at my place or-"

"Sorry, Mike, I can't tonight, I'm hanging out with Jacob Black, from the Quileute reservation. He was at the beach when we went last year, I don't know if you remember him. But we should definitely get a bunch of people to go to the movies soon, that would be great," I tried to sound as normal as possible, I didn't want to sound overly enthusiastic but I didn't want to sound too apologetic either.

"Oh, yeah I remember him. Isn't he, like, a few years younger than us?" He asked, sounding hopeful.

"Yeah, he's sixteen, but still, he's really mature for his age. He's been helping me a lot the past couple of weeks, though. But I'll mention the movie thing to him, and then we can ask everyone else tomorrow at lunch. Anyways," I said, stopping just outside my classroom, "I have to go, this is my class, but I'll see you later." I smiled at him, hoping I hadn't completely ruined my friendship with him.

The rest of the day went by and nothing overly interesting happened again. I had last period with Angela and she sat beside me and smiled at me a few times, like she was happy that we were friends again. I smiled back every time and it never felt forced. I really liked Angela, she never felt the need to talk all the time, she was comfortable with silence.

At the end of class we said goodbye, and I told her about the movie plans and that she should talk to Ben about it. She said she would and then the day was finally over. I was happy I had finally reconnected with my friends but I was just so tired, I just wanted to go home and wait for Jacob to come over.


	5. Chapter 5

I drove home, thinking about what I wanted to make for dinner and eventually deciding that pasta would be easier with Jacob and Billy coming over. Billy was coming to watch whatever game was on tonight with Charlie and Jacob and I were just going to hang out.

Jacob showed up about twenty minutes after I did, Charlie was going to pick up Billy when he was done work.

"So, what do you want to do? I don't plan on starting dinner for another hour," I told Jacob. He shrugged his shoulders and didn't say anything, meaning he wanted me to pick what we were going to do. "Well, fine, do you want to go for a walk? It's not too rainy for once."

Jacob jumped up and I took that as a yes. As we were leaving I laughed at him having to duck through the front door and so he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder and ran down the driveway, me laughing the whole time, before putting me down.

After a few minutes of walking I decided it would be a good idea to bring up the movie thing now, so that I could tell Charlie I was making plans with other friends. He would be very happy about that.

"I started talking to my friends from school today," I told him, because he had been encouraging me to start talking to other people, too, so that I wouldn't be isolated.

"That's great!" He exclaimed, "How was it? Were they nice?"

"It was better than I thought it would be, they didn't make a big deal out of it," I told him, I didn't think it mattered to tell him that they barely spoke to me at all. "Actually, my friend Mike asked me to go to the movies with him, and I told him we should get a bunch of people to go. Angela said she would talk to Ben, and I was wondering if you, Quil and Embry would want to go?"

Jacob's face fell when I mentioned Embry, and I knew something had happened.

"Jake, did something happen to Embry?" I asked, concerned. Embry and Quil had become my friends, too, not as close as me and Jacob but still, I cared about them.

"Embry doesn't hang out with us anymore," he said, and he sounded worried but also angry. I waited for him to elaborate, I didn't want to push it but I wanted to know what had happened.

"Okay," I said after a minute, realizing I would need to nudge him a bit, "Why is that?"

He took a deep breath before, "Sam Uley and his Disciples got to him. He missed a bunch of school and then when he got back he wouldn't talk to me and Quil and he started hanging around Jared and Paul, Sam's friends."

I didn't know what to say, all I really knew about Sam was that he was the guy that had found me that night and brought me out of the forest.

"I'm gathering that you don't like Sam," I say, "Has he done something to you? Because if he has I'm sure Billy or Charlie-"

"He hasn't done anything," Jacob interrupted me, sounding frustrated, "And even if he had my dad wouldn't do anything, not to Saint Sam. It's just that… Well, he freaks me out. He used to creep out Embry, too. He would give Embry these looks, like he was waiting for him or something, it was weird, and we all avoided him. And now, he's following him around like a lost puppy."

"Do you want me to try and talk to Embry?" I asked him, fully concerned now.

"No, I don't think there's anything to do now, I'm just… He's looking at me now, the way he used to look at Embry. And I'm scared Bella," he told me, and I could hear it in his voice. "I'm scared something is going to happen and I won't be able to stop it," he turned towards me, his head down and his hands in his pockets.

I got closer to him so that I could look up into his face and his eyes were terrified. I hated seeing Jake in any kind of pain, Jacob was my person and I would do everything I could to protect him from all his fears. I wrapped my arms around him and I felt his breath catch and then he hugged me back, his body warm and solid.

"Jacob, everything will be alright, okay? I will do everything I can to make sure of it," I said against his chest. I hoped that in that moment he felt as safe as he made me feel and that I could keep my promise to him. Jacob was the only person I had left that I could be myself with and I never wanted to lose him.


	6. Chapter 6

"... and so I won't be able to come to the movies tonight Bella, I'm really sorry, another time though," Ben was telling me. He had called to tell me that Angela had gotten the flu yesterday and it was really bad and he was going to stay with her and take care of her.

"No problem, Ben," I assured him, "I completely understand, let Angie know that I hope she feels better soon," I said before hanging up. I truly did completely understand, Angela was one of my best friends and I was happy she had Ben to take care of her.

I was just a little disappointed because now it would just be Mike, Quil, Jake and me going to the movies tonight and I thought that might be a little awkward. I had invited Jessica and Eric, his girlfriend Katie, and even Lauren, but none of them could, or wanted to, come.

I heard someone knocking on the door and I went to get it, it was probably Jake and Quil. I opened it and was surprised to see just Jacob, no Quil. I looked behind him at his car to see if Quil was sitting in it but I didn't see anyone.

"Please tell me that Quil is coming," I begged Jacob.

"Sorry, Bells," he told me apologetically, "he couldn't make it. He got grounded for fighting at school."

I groaned. Awesome, just Mike and Jake now. This was going to be a disaster, a night of testosterone with me in the middle.

"Why? Did someone else cancel?" He asked.

"Yeah, Angela got the flu yesterday and Ben decided to stay with her. Nobody else could come. It's just going to be us and Mike," I told him, and he could hear in my voice how much I was dreading this.

He smiled, and I could see that he was trying hard not to laugh. Jacob knew that Mike had a huge crush on me and also that Mike hadn't see him in months so he was definitely going to try and intimidate Mike. I groaned again, but it was too late to cancel now. I would just have to deal with this, maybe it wouldn't be too bad.

"Dad, me and Jake are going to pick up Mike and then we're going to the movies," I called into the living room before leaving and locking the door behind me. Jacob was driving his car since it would probably be easier to get to Port Angeles in. We drove over to Mike's and he got in the back, and I knew he wasn't going to enjoy the ride.

Jacob and I talked the whole time, Mike occasionally trying to be apart of the conversation and I did try and include him. But whenever he talked it seemed like he was just trying to be 'cooler' than Jacob and one-up him, and it was really irritating. I knew he liked me and all but Jacob was my best friend, what did Mike think he was going to accomplish by being an ass? Eventually I think he must have realized that I wasn't impressed with his attitude and he didn't talk for the rest of the car ride.

"Okay, so I can go grab the tickets, the line seems pretty long if you guys want to grab snacks?" I said once we get to the theatre with only ten minutes before the movie. I felt like I shouldn't leave them alone together but I needed to get away from them for a minute. Before they could say anything to disagree I had walked over to the ticket line.

I had made sure that we went to see an action film, Crosshairs, because I still didn't feel like watching anything with romance in it. I was especially grateful for that decision now with just Mike and Jacob, that would have been really awkward.

We went to find some good seats and sat down just as the credits were ending, perfect timing. The movie started and I knew that Jacob had been right earlier, this movie did suck, it was so bad it was funny. Jacob and I would look at each other every time there was a cheesy moment and we had to constantly stop ourselves from laughing.

Halfway through the movie, however, I saw Mike get up and run out of the theatre looking like he was going to get sick. I followed him out, Jacob right behind me, and we saw him run into the bathroom. Jake went in to check on him and came out after a few seconds, laughing.

"He's in there throwing up," Jake told me once he had stopped laughing enough to breathe properly. "What a marshmallow, do you think it was the movie? Because that movie was so obviously fake, it wasn't even good gore."

"He might have the flu that Angela has, I think it's been going around the school," I said, I was a little worried about him, we would definitely have to bring him home.

* * *

After bringing Mike home Jacob drove me back to Charlie's and told me he had better get home, too.

"Are you feeling sick, too?" I asked him. "Do you need me to bring you home?" He shook his head and looked at me, deep in thought it seemed. I was about to say goodbye and get out of the car but then-

"Bella," he started, and then paused for a moment looking like he was choosing his next words carefully. "Bella, I want you to know that I'm always here, whenever you need me. I would never do anything to hurt you."

I smiled at him, even though I felt a pain in my stomach, guilt, shame. I hated that I would never be enough for him and I couldn't feel the same about him, but I also needed him. I was just scared that one day he would realize that he deserved better and would leave.

"I know Jake, you're my favourite person," I told him. "Call me when you get home, please!" And with that I closed the door and watched him drive away. I went inside to wait for his call once his car was gone.


	7. Chapter 7

I just don't get it, he didn't seem mad at me at the movies, or the one time I had talked to him since, but Jacob hadn't seen me in two weeks. Maybe I had misjudged him, maybe he really was upset at me for not feeling the same way he did. I really did wish I could feel like that, he was my best friend and I hated hurting him.

But I didn't, couldn't feel like that about him, about anyone. I hadn't gotten over  _him_  yet. It still hurt to even think his name, and I knew it was over, I knew that. And I would move past him, eventually, it would just take me some time.

I thought Jake knew that, I thought he knew he was essential for me to start to rebuild myself. Maybe he finally realized how selfish I was being and realized that he deserved better than me. The thought hurt me enough that it felt like I physically needed to hold myself together or I would actually break apart.

Maybe it was better this way, if Jacob wasn't around me Laurent and Victoria wouldn't hurt him when they finally came for me. I had been waiting since I had seen Laurent in the meadow, surprised it had taken them this long. Surely Laurent would have told her that I was here alone, unprotected, easy for her to get to and kill. But then again maybe Laurent had been right, she wouldn't want me now that  _him_  and the rest of them weren't here, didn't care about me.

She wanted revenge against him, not me, and killing me obviously wouldn't give her that, maybe she found a new way to hurt  _him_. The thought hurt me, I didn't want him to be hurt in any way, he was a good person.

"Just keep yourself busy," I whispered to myself as I worked on my math homework. It was always a good distraction because it took all of my concentration and I wasn't very good at it. This is what I had gone back to in the past week, distracting myself, keeping myself busy.

Only this time it hadn't seemed as painful, maybe because I was used to it, but that isn't what it seemed like, this seemed different. Maybe it was because this hadn't been ended, maybe I still had some hope that this could be fixed.

"I'm going to fix this," I said to myself. I still sounded a little unsure and so I repeated it, "I'm going to fix this." It sounded better, more confident. I could do this, he was Jacob, he would hear me out, I would make sure of it.

* * *

After another week I couldn't take it, I had given him enough time to come to me, I had been patient enough. I decided to go to his house tomorrow, Saturday, and confront him, and tell him everything I had been thinking. I needed my best friend back. My friends from school were fine, but other than Angela I didn't find myself wanting to be around them. I just found myself being near them as a reason to not be alone.

The next morning I got up and waited at least until 8, I figured that would be late enough for it to be acceptable. And I couldn't handle waiting any longer, Charlie had gone fishing, I had nothing to distract me.

The drive seemed to take forever but I finally got there and I decided I would wait outside, someone would have to come out eventually. I saw one of the curtains move in the small house and Billy's face appeared. He looked confused and I waved at him. He scowled at me and let the curtain drop.

A few minutes of nothing went by and I was beginning to wonder why I hadn't thought to bring anything to do.

"Maybe I have a piece of paper in-"

I was interrupted by a knock on my window and I nearly jumped out of my skin. Jacob was standing beside my truck, only it didn't look like Jacob.

This Jacob had cut off all of his hair, his beautiful hair, but that wasn't why I could see it wasn't my Jacob. I had never seen his features so twisted by unending rage. He looked like he absolutely hated me, and it terrified me.

"What are you doing here Bella?" He asked me, and his voice even sounded different, angrier, distant. This was not going to end well, I could feel it in my gut.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So apparently I accidentally posted the same chapter twice, so thank you nicole_diane for pointing that out to me!

_“I can’t tell you.”_

_“I thought we were friends?”  
          “We were.”_

          I was laying in bed and words from my conversation with Jake were running through my head, so fast I felt dizzy. I had started crying again once I had laid down, I hadn’t stopped shivering for hours even though I had five extra blankets on my bed. I was so tired but I doubted I would fall asleep. I rolled over and tried again to block out the conversation.

          My eyes flew open, waking from a sleep that I hadn’t even realized I had fallen into, but I couldn’t figure out why I had woken up. I hadn’t been having any nightmares for once, so what had it been? That was when I heard it, what had woken me. Something was scraping against my window, something sharp.

          Victoria. She was here. Shit. She had finally come for me.

          I swallowed back a scream, I couldn’t have Charlie running in to save me, I didn’t want him to be hurt if I could help it. I would just have to let her kill me, make it as quiet as possible. I braced myself for the attack and then I froze when I heard a voice from outside my window.

          “Ouch, jeez Bella please open the window!” I was frozen for two seconds before running over to slide the glass up. Jacob was just hanging there from one of the branches on the tree outside of my room.

          “Jacob Black, what the hell are you doing? You could kill yourself hanging there!” I scolded him as quietly as I could, scared out of my mind. I didn’t want Jacob to break his leg or his neck because of… Well, because of whatever the hell reason he had decided to come see me. I just couldn’t figure out what the reason was he had seemed pretty adamant today that we were no longer friends.

          “Well then, why don’t you move so that I can come in?” I could hear the attitude in his voice and I almost smiled, it sounded like my Jacob. I moved over and almost screamed when I realized what he was going to do, but I covered my mouth with my hands so I didn’t wake Charlie.

          Jake swung into my room, feet first, with more grace than I thought possible for such a big person, and he was absolutely huge. He towered over me, his head almost touched the ceiling. If it wasn’t Jacob I think I would have been absolutely terrified.

          I think the adrenaline must have left my body from the fear of Victoria and Jacob falling to his death because all of a sudden, I was hit with the realization of how absolutely exhausted I was, mentally and physically. I almost dropped to the floor at that moment and Jacob caught me and helped me to the bed.

          “Bella? Bella, are you okay? What’s wrong? Do you need me to get you anything?” He asked me, voice full of concern and I felt terrible for worrying him.

          “I’m fine Jake, I just haven’t slept properly in a few weeks and I’ve just been really stressed out,” I told him. “It’s no big deal,” I tried to smile at him to try and convince him but it probably looked more like a grimace. Not very convincing.

          He looked distraught, like he was in actual pain. I wanted to stop that pain, anyway I could. I touched his arm but then I remembered everything that had happened between us earlier today and I dropped it quickly, I didn’t want him to think I was disrespecting his decision to distance himself from me.

          “Bella, I’m not staying away from you because I want to, I’m doing it because I have no other choice right now. There are things I just learned that I can’t tell you and I can’t lie to you,” he looked at me and I could see in his eyes that he was telling the truth. He really did still want me in his life.

          “Did Sam tell you that you couldn’t be near me?” I couldn’t stop the question, it was the only thing that had changed since Jacob had stopped talking to me. But I saw how irritate he seemed when I asked that question and instantly regretted it.

          “No, honestly Bella, Sam is trying to do everything he can to help me. But he can only do so much,” he said.

          “Jacob please, tell me, what is going on that you need help with? Maybe I could help, too,” I pleaded with him. I wanted nothing more than to help him, to erase the pain from his eyes.

          He opened his mouth and it looked like he was trying to say something, like he was putting all of his strength and concentration behind trying to say it but it just wouldn’t come out. He finally released a breath after a while and his eyebrows pulled together in frustration.

          “Huh,” he muttered. “I actually physically can’t tell you anything specific. There has to be some way to get you to the answer, I know you know this,” he said, more to himself than me.

          I was completely confused, how would I know this when he hadn’t told me, because he couldn’t tell me. I was about to voice this question when he seemed to have a brainwave.

          “Clues!” He all but shouted, and we both turned to look at the door, waiting to hear if Charlie had woken up. It seemed he hadn’t because we heard him grunt a little in his sleep. “I can give you clues, I can try. Okay, here goes.

          “Do you remember last year, at the beach?” He asked me, and I nearly started blushing. How could I forget, I had tried, and failed, to flirt with him so that he would tell me the stories about them. I just nodded, I didn’t exactly trust that my voice wouldn’t give me away.

          “Okay good, do you remember what I told you, the-” and his voice seemed to just stop working. I looked at him and he actually did look like the words had stuck in his throat and he couldn’t push them out.

          “The stories?” I finished for him, trying to help. He nodded and smiled, and gestured for me to keep going. “Well, you told me about the Cold Ones, and the-the Cullens,” I stammered over the name, but it didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would have.

          “Okay, yes, but do you remember what else I told you? Any of the other ones?” He asked, he seemed frustrated, probably because it was the only thing I remembered. I knew there was more I just, I couldn’t get my brain to function right now, I was too tired.

          “I don’t know Jake, I’m just really tired, I can barely think,” I told him, my voice a little whiney because of my exhaustion. “I’m sorry,” I added, and I really was, I wanted to remember it all. I wanted to help him.

          “It’s fine, I guess I understand why that’s the only thing you remember, it was basically what you had talked to me to hear,” he said and I could hear some bitterness behind the words. “But please, Bella, I need you to remember the rest. It would make everything so much easier if you could know.”

          He was desperate, he really wanted me to remember it, but hard as I tried I couldn’t get my brain to focus at all, on anything. It was taking all my concentration and effort just to stay awake through this conversation.

          He must have seen how hard I was trying to stay awake because he put his hand on my cheek and said, “Get some rest, Bella, maybe you’ll remember in the morning. When you do eventually remember, will you just do me one favour?” He asked me, and I couldn’t bring myself to speak so I just nodded.

          “Will you at least let me know if you never want to see me again, just so I know?” I was confused, of course I would want to see him, he was my best friend. I said as much and he shook his head, “Just promise me, because you might change your mind when you find out, and I know you keep your promises no matter what.”

          “I promise Jake.”

          He got up to leave and I was alone and asleep in minutes.


	9. Chapter 9

**I didn't want to re-write anything from the books because that's plagiarism. So if there are any big time jumps it's because I'm not changing what happened in the books for that scene. Anyways, sorry for any confusion!**

* * *

 

"Where are you going?" I barely heard Charlie over the pounding of my heart, it sounded like it was in my ears. I had remembered, I had remembered everything about that day on the beach. Jacob was a-a  _werewolf_. I could barely  _think_  the word, it was just too absurd.

"Bella!" Charlie shouted loud enough for me to hear this time and I stopped and turned around. He looked like he was about to say something else but he stopped for a moment, I'm sure my expression was wild. Maybe he thought I had finally cracked. "Are you okay, Bells? You don't look so good."

"I'm fine, Dad, I need to go see Jacob, it's important," all of the words came out in a rush but I needed to go, as soon as possible.

"Jacob? I thought… Didn't you two have a fight?" He seemed confused, but then he seemed to think better of questioning me. "Never mind, you're going straight to his place then? No stops or detours?" He asked, and his tone stopped me for a moment.

"No detours, promise," I told him. I wanted to leave but I needed to ask, "Why? What happened?"

"Nothing, just another animal attack," I could tell he was trying to make it seem like it wasn't a big deal but I could see through that.

"Dad, what's wrong?" I asked, starting to feel like I knew more about what was going on than him. Again. God, why did this keep happening around me? Could nothing stay a myth, just a scary story?

"It's just strange," he started. "A man went missing in the woods and his wife, who had been with him, reported seeing a wolf around where he had gone missing. I've never heard of wolves hunting people this close to town, and without a pack. It's just strange," he finished.

He walked to the front door and I noticed then that he was in his uniform, even though it was a Sunday. And then that's when it hit me.

Wolves. Giant animals hunting people in the woods. I just didn't want to believe-

"Are you going to Jacob's now? Or are you leaving later?" Charlie interrupted my thoughts. I stared at him, wanting to ask him not to go looking for the wolves but I needed to go see Jacob, ask him what the hell was going on. If I could figure out what was really going on then I could protect Charlie better. And it isn't like I had any excuse for him not to do his job that would make any sense.

"Yeah, I'm coming," I walked through the door and waited behind him while he locked the door. "Dad, please be careful today," I was surprised to hear the urgency to my voice, I hadn't had that much emotion in weeks. But, I realized, Charlie was the one person in my life that I needed to protect from this world I had found myself in.

"I always am, Bells," he told me and then he walked to his cruiser and I got in my truck.

"Okay, focus Bella," I said quietly to myself, starting up my truck. I knew I needed all my attention to be on the task at hand, this could possibly be dangerous. I needed to do this, talk to Jacob, demand that he tell me what was going on, for Charlie's sake. I couldn't lose Charlie.

As I was driving, I was running all the options of what to say to him, how to broach the subject – carefully, aggressively, nicely, every scenario was running through my head. I was terrified of approaching it in the wrong way and Jacob being angry at me.

Or worse. What if I was wrong about this whole thing? What if my experience with the other weird things in the world had affected the way I saw the world. I mean, nobody else had ever mentioned werewolves to me before, and wouldn't that be an important topic to bring up?

I could feel myself beginning to tense up and I could sense the approaching pain of thinking about  _them_  for too long so I went back to thinking about the problem at hand.

" _Focus_  Bella," I repeated. I was almost there and I decided to just go with what felt right in the moment, Jake was my best friend, I was one of his, he wouldn't be mad at me about this. If I was wrong, I would just explain everything to him, Billy would probably back me up if I needed it.

I parked my truck in the regular spot, beside the garage and I went to his house to go in and see him. I knocked and Billy answered, seeming confused, but mostly irritated that I was there. After arguing with him, I pushed past him to Jacob's room, apologizing. I felt bad but I needed to see Jacob, why couldn't he understand that?

I all but broke down Jacob's door trying to open it, fumbling with the doorknob in my haste to get to him. Then, seeing him lying there, looking so peaceful, I finally saw my Jacob, the sweet, kind, sixteen-year-old who shared pizza with me and mocked me for my love of Shakespeare, even though he secretly liked it, too. I saw my best friend again for the first time in weeks. And it made me feel even more terrible for waking him up.

"Jacob," I whispered, kneeling down so I was closer to his ear. "Jake, hey, wake up. Jacob, I figured it out." I saw him slowly beginning to stir so I sat down on his floor and waited for him to roll over and open his eyes.

When he finally did, I could tell he was still half asleep, because he gave me a dopey smile and whispered my name. I waited, until-

"Bella!" His eyes snapped open and he sat up very quickly.

"Hey Jake," I said brightly, laughing at him. "Good morning, how are you doing?" He looked completely confused at my appearance, which I couldn't blame him for. I could also see that he was at a loss for words so I decided to just be blunt with him and my new discovery.

"Wolves," I stated, and then waited for his reaction. Nice, I thought sarcastically, very eloquent.

I saw his eyes widen and I panicked, thinking he was going to be angry, or that he thought I was crazy. But then he smiled, a big Jacob grin that seemed to light up his whole face and then I was off the ground and in his arms being crushed in another hug of his that almost killed me.

"You remembered! Is that what this means? You remember everything I told you that day?" He practically shouted in my ear.

I tapped his arm, trying to indicate my inability to breathe, let alone answer his questions, and elaborate on my 'wolves' statement. I figured I would need to be a bit more specific for him to be able to start explaining everything to me. He put me down and we sat down facing each other in his bed.

"You're a werewolf?" I questioned, and he laughed.

"Well, technically, no," he said, and before I could ask, "I'm a shapeshifter, and my shape happens to be a wolf."

I nodded before continuing, "Okay, sorry, so you turn into a giant wolf?" I asked, and he grimaced but nodded.

"Okay, did someone do this to you?" This was one question that I had had to think through before I asked it. Jacob and I both knew I was implying Sam had done this, but I had seen how testy he got when I assumed the worst about Sam so I thought I would be more subtle with it. The eyeroll Jacob gave me told me I hadn't been as subtle as I had intended, but he didn't seem irritated with me this time.

"No, Sam didn't turn me into this, it's a genetics, family heritage thing. It happens to those of us in the bloodlines of the original shape shifter, Taha Aki. The Black family comes from his bloodline, so my family has the genetic makeup to shift when the time comes," he explained. Everything he said came out in a rush, as if he was scared something would stop him if he didn't say it all fast enough.

"What do you mean, 'when the time comes'?" I asked, temporarily distracted from my specific questions that I had planned before coming here. I would get back to them.

"When someone with the gene comes across the scent of a vampire," his voice seemed to pause, before continuing, "their body begins to shift, growing in height, muscle mass, strength, until they finally shift. The first person shifting triggers others of the tribe once they come of age. Until there are enough to protect the people of the tribe." I sat, considering this for a moment.

So, Jake knew about the  _them_ , about  _him_. I mean, technically he had always known, but now he knew it wasn't just a legend, a story, it was true. Part of me hurt at the reminder of him but the other part of me felt… relieved. There was finally someone I could talk to about this if I ever felt the need to. I decided to veer away from the close proximity of what was bound to be a tense and awkward topic and went back to my mental checklist of questions I needed answers.

"Okay, that explains a lot. Next question, are you the giant animal that has been seen by multiple people in the woods?" I knew that I could have been gentler, less abrasive in my wording, but the last answer had thrown me briefly so I just went for it.

"I guess, technically," he said, slightly hesitant in his answer. "But, we aren't the ones killing people, if that's your next question. We're trying to protect them, actually."

I nodded, that was along the lines of the answer I had hoped to get but, I was still relieved to hear it. "Wait," I realized I was missing something, "protecting them from what?"


	10. Chapter 10

Jacob had explained to me about the vampires that had been the ones attacking the people of Forks and the surrounding area. I then had to explain about Victoria and Laurent, and how when they had chased him off he had probably gone to her to explain my situation. And then he had explained that they had killed Laurent and I was speechless.  _Killed_  him? How? They were nearly unstoppable, they couldn't kill them. He had been offended at my lack of confidence, and I had laughed, deciding that I believed him. Why would Jacob lie to me about this?

"Let's go for a walk," he suggested, and we left his house. Everything outside seemed very different, clearer, like I could see everything properly again.

"Okay, so, is this what happened to Embry? He… shifted?" I asked, because I had been worried about Embry too, ever since Jacob had told me about him. I honestly hoped this is what it was, because this was something that could be explained to me.

"Yeah, it is," he answered. I felt relieved, that means he's okay, he's safe. I was about to turn and smile at Jacob when I felt his hand on my arm, pulling me behind him. I looked at his face and I saw so many emotions. Anger, defiance, pride.

"Jake, what-" I stopped because I then turned and saw what he was looking at. Sam was there, and so was Embry, but there were two people there who I didn't know, though I assumed they were all wolves. They were close enough that I could see their faces and they only had one emotion: rage. They looked beyond pissed, and I had a feeling they weren't just mad at Jacob, but none of them could really see me, Jake was blocking me from view.

"Jake, should I…?" I don't know what I had wanted to ask but the look that Jacob shot my way told me that I shouldn't be talking right now. He pushed me back a little more and I took a few steps back myself, knowing that I was half hidden from the others behind him and knowing that Jacob wouldn't let them hurt me, if it came down to it.

"Sam, I didn't tell her," I heard Jake saying. Shit, I hope I didn't get him in trouble. But he was the one telling me to remember, he had been pushing me to figure it out. Still, Sam looked bigger than Jacob and that worried me.

"I know you didn't Jacob," Sam said, but I could barely hear him. He took a few steps closer to me and Jacob, maybe so that I could hear a little better, maybe so it wasn't so awkward.

"What?" Said one of the ones I didn't know. He was tall, they all were, and he was muscular, too. He looked the angriest, of all of them. "What do you mean, you know? He obviously told her, how else would she know?" I could hear the rage in his voice, and he was shaking, visibly. I could see it from here.

"Paul," Sam said cautiously, he must have been talking to the angry one. "Calm down, control yourself."

"Obviously I didn't tell her, I couldn't, Sam told me I couldn't and you know what that means.  _I couldn't_." Jacob emphasized the last two words.

"Then how!" Paul was shouting at this point, shaking even more violently. I took a few more steps back, feeling like this wasn't going to end well. "How could she have found out!"

I saw everyone else back away from Paul, and I could tell something was about to happen, so I took a few more steps back and then I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Hearing about it was one thing but seeing it with my own eyes was completely different.

I saw Paul practically explode into his wolf form, a dark silver mass of fur, claws, and snarling fangs. Then, much closer to me, I saw Jake do the same, but he was a rusty-brown colour. They lunged at each other and I heard myself scream, not out of fear for myself, but in my fear for Jacob's safety. He was the newest wolf, what if he got hurt over me. They were snapping and snarling at each other and eventually bolted into the trees, Sam running after them.

"Bella," I heard a familiar voice say my name, and I turned to see Embry beside me, keeping his distance. I grinned at him, launching myself into a hug with him, which seemed to take him by surprise. But he hugged me back, laughing at my reaction. And then I punched his arm, not very hard, but I think he got my point.

"What was that for?" He asked me, laughing.

"Worrying me! We were friends and then you just disappeared and scared the shit out of me and Jake!" I nearly shouted, but I was smiling at him, so he knew I wasn't actually angry, just making a point.

"Yeah, yeah," he waved it off. "I'm sorry, though, I would have told Jake if I had been able to. Anyways! Bella, this is Jared," the last boy was tall, like the rest of them, about 6 feet tall. I noticed now that they had all cut off their hair, which was not common on the reservation. Must be a wolf thing.

"Hey," I smiled at him, and he smiled back. "Are they going to be okay? Because I don't want anyone to get hurt because of me, it really isn't his fault, I figured it out on my own," I explained. They both smiled at me, I relaxed a little bit. I felt better than I had in months.

"They'll be fine, we can all hold our own, especially with each other because we all train and learn how to fight with each other. Come on, let's get over to Emily's," Jared told me and Embry.

"Emily?" I questioned.

"Sam's fiancée, they'll head over there once they're done," they started walking away, probably towards wherever we were going.

"Uh, guys? I'm not walking, do you want a ride?" I asked them, pointing at my truck. They grinned and jogged over, pushing and shoving each other the whole way.

* * *

"Yeah, but, you can't run with vampires," I argued. I heard Emily snort. Jared was looking at me like he didn't understand me, "because they're fast…" I elaborated for his benefit.

He barked a laugh, "Yeah? Well, we're faster," he boasted. I was about to respond when I heard Jacob laughing outside.

Sam came inside and went straight over to Emily, kissing her and then each of her scars, making her giggle. They were adorable, I smiled. I looked over at the door to see Jacob walking in, he didn't look hurt. He grabbed a muffin off the table and came over to me, smiling.

"You're alright?" I asked, and he nodded at me, still smiling.

"I went easy on him," I heard Paul's voice coming from the doorway and I leaned around Jacob, smiling. Paul sounded much happier than he had earlier.

He looked at me, smiling, and then I saw the smile drop from his face and he grabbed the doorframe, looking like he was trying to steady himself. I was concerned now, what the hell was happening? I looked at Jacob, trying to gauge his reaction so I knew if this was something bad. He looked… irritated? That didn't make any sense to me. I looked back over to Paul, he looked scared and angry.

What was going on?

"Paul?" I asked, maybe he would explain.

"NO!" he shouted, looking at Sam and then bolting away from the house.

I was about to ask the room at large what was going on when Jared snorted and Embry and him both began howling with laughter. I looked at Jake, who still looked annoyed, but a smile broke out over his face too and then he had joined in the laughter. I looked over at Sam and Emily but Sam was looking out the door, and I could tell he wasn't sure if he should follow Paul or not.

I guess he decided he should because he kissed Emily's temple and then was out the door. Emily looked over at me, smiling like she knew something. I could tell I wasn't going to be told what had happened, not right away anyways.

I shrugged and grabbed another muffin, going over to stand with Emily and talk with her.


	11. Chapter 11

I started spending more time at Emily's, she was very kind and very funny. She was also teaching me some new recipes, which Charlie was very appreciative of because she was a very good cook. After telling Jake, and then the rest of the pack about Victoria being after me, I found it easier to be at Emily's because then I wasn't alone. Jake and the pack were hunting Victoria a lot and so I didn't have as much time with Jacob as I had had before.

"I miss hanging out with you," I told Jacob one of the special afternoons I actually got to spend with him. We had decided to go for a walk along La Push. It was rainy and cold but we liked that it seemed peaceful here, which nowhere else seemed to feel like that, not anymore.

"I know, me too," Jacob sighed, and I hated that he was sad. He didn't dislike being a wolf, but it isn't the life he would have chosen for himself. I nudged him with my shoulder, and of course it didn't move him, but he smirked at me. He knew I was trying to lighten the mood. He seemed much happier now that I knew everything, and he was allowed to share everything with me.

"So," I started, somewhat nervously. I had been wanting to ask him this question for a while now, mostly because I was afraid of the answer. "Does the pack like me?" I was concerned that he would tell me they didn't. Because I hadn't been able to spend a lot of time with them but it had been a couple weeks since I found out about them so they had spent enough time with me to have an opinion.

"Are you kidding? They love you!" he exclaimed, and I was taken aback. I hadn't thought they would like me that much, I am the 'vampire girl' as they liked to call me, until Jake had probably told them to knock it off.

"Really? All of them?" I clarified, and he knew I meant Paul specifically. He seemed to hate me, sitting as far away from me as possible in rooms, or just not being in the same room as me. I guess he just hated the Cullens enough that he hated me too, that was my only guess.

"Yes, even Paul, but I won't tell you what his deal is. It isn't my place, you'll have to wait for him to talk to you about it," he said before I could ask. I had brought it up a few times already, especially after what had happened right after speaking to him for the first time.  _The debacle_ , I chose to call it.

" _Fine_ , I'll be patient," I told him, smirking at him. "I have another question," I said.

"Of course you do," he laughed, I had had a lot of questions for him. I tried to keep wolf talk to a minimum around Emily, unless she brought it up. I figured her life was already full of wolf business, she might want a break from it.

"How did Sam and Emily meet?" Jacob had already told me that she had gotten the scars from Sam getting angry when she was too close, but that was about all I knew about their relationship. "Sorry, you don't have to answer if you can't or don't want to or whatever."

"Nah, it's fine. Do you wanna sit? There's a lot of information, some of which I wanted to talk to you about anyways," he told me. We sat on a fallen tree. I waited for him to start.

"Okay, so I'm going to start by telling you about Imprinting. It's another wolf-thing," he smiled at me, it was something I had started to say about Jake's new traits, he thought it was hilarious for some reason. "Imprinting is when one of us meets who you would call our soulmate. It's more intense than that though. It's like being tethered to someone, like they're the only person keeping you grounded. But it's more than just wanting to date them, it's-it's being whatever they need, whenever they need it. A brother, a friend, someone to lean on, anyone and anything," he took a deep breath when he was finished.

"Wow," I breathed. "You really sound like you've experienced this. Have you…?" I couldn't bring myself to ask the question, because I was afraid of the answer, if he had I would be happy for him, but it would also change everything.

"No, I haven't," he paused, looking at me with a seriousness I didn't see very often. "But I can hear everyone else's thoughts, remember?" He explained, and part of me was relieved. Jake was still Jake, all in his own, and the selfish part of me knew that Jacob wouldn't have enough time for me if he Imprinted on someone.

"So, is that what happened with Sam and Emily?" I asked. "Did he Imprint on her?"

Jacob nodded. "Yeah, he did. It happens after you phase for the first time, and the moment he looked in her eyes it happened," he told me. "What really sucks is that he was dating Leah Clearwater at the time, and she and Emily are cousins. Sam still hates himself for it," I saw Jacob wince a little, possibly remembering the pain that it probably caused Sam.

"Wait, Clearwater? Like Harry Clearwater?"

"Yeah," he said, "his daughter. Harry understood, because he knew about the wolf thing and Sam had to ask him what was going on. But Leah doesn't know and she thinks Sam just left her because he stopped loving her and chose Emily. But that isn't what happened, we can all see that he still loves Leah and it kills him that he had to break up with her."

I felt terrible for Sam, he was one of the most moral people I knew, I believed Jacob when he said Sam never meant to hurt her.

"Sometimes it just chooses you," I reasoned aloud. Jacob nodded. "But he seems happy with Emily, and she seems happy, too. Which is good, because I like them both, they're both amazing people." I smiled up at Jacob and he smiled at me, too. It was so nice finally having Jacob back and I loved that we shared everything again, but now it was deeper. We had no secrets from each other. I may not talk about the Cullens, but he knew about them, and I knew about him.

Apart from Victoria, everything seemed to be looking up for me, and I was the happiest I had been in months. I felt free, to be who I am, to be happy, and it was nice.


	12. Chapter 12

"Sorry to drop in like this Emily, I was just going crazy at home alone for the third day in a row and I needed to be with other people." I said when we had sat down with our drinks and snacks. Jacob and the pack had been on Victoria's trail for a few days and Charlie was busy hunting Jacob and I had been home by myself the whole time. I was losing my mind worrying about everyone.

Emily was great to be around because she could relate to my worrying. Everyone else would have just frustrated me because they wouldn't know why I was so worried and I wouldn't be able to tell them. It would just mean I would have to lie to them and pretend to be fine and that was just tiring.

Emily laughed, and it made me smile. Emily was such a beautiful and happy person, she made me feel much better without ever trying to. We had become good friends and I was very happy about that.

"It's no problem Bella, I like having you around, and I understand," she told me, smiling. "I just need to grab the cookies out of the oven." I gave her a questioning look, none of the boys were home, why would she be baking so much? "I like to stock up on baking when they're gone, it gives me something to do, and it means I have extras when they get home and I don't run out as quickly," she explained. I laughed, and when I offered to help her she waved me down so I sat and drank my water.

I was making a mental list of all the things I needed to get done in the next week when I heard the front door open behind me. I whipped around, prepared for Victoria to spring at me and kill me, because that was a genuine fear I had had for weeks. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the short dark hair and dark brown eyes of Paul. Then came the confusion.

"Wait, what are you doing here?" I asked, then realized that sounded rude. "Sorry, that sounded wrong, I mean, I thought you were with the pack looking for Victoria."

He stared at me for a moment before answering, "Sam needed someone to stay behind and keep on eye on things here." And that was it, so I guess that was the only answer I was going to get.

"Oh, okay," I said, somewhat awkwardly. I really wanted to get to know Paul more, I wanted him to see that I wasn't as horrible as he thought I was. I don't exactly know why his opinion of me was so important, I just knew it was.

Emily walked in at that moment with a plate of chocolate chip cookies and smiled at Paul, who smiled back. When he smiled like that he was very good looking, and I suddenly wished he would smile more.

"I'll come back-" He started to say, but Emily interrupted.

"Paul Lahote, you sit down right now and eat some cookies. They're your favourite and I baked them for you and you can sit here and talk to me and Bella." She gave him a look, and despite the fact that he could turn into a wolf, he looked afraid of her, like a child scared of getting in trouble from his mother. He sat down and picked up a cookie, looking very grumpy.

"Fine," he grumbled before taking a bite of the cookie. "Thank you," he grumbled again, sounding more sincere and showing a small smile. I looked at Emily and started laughing. I couldn't help it, he was acting like a grumpy five-year-old because he had to spend time with me, and I thought it was one of the most amusing things I had ever seen.

Before long Emily had joined in and it seemed to take forever for us to calm down. When I had finally stopped, I glanced over at Paul who was staring at me and smiling a very small smile, as if he was amused at my laughing, before he dropped the smile and looked away from me at the table. I decided not to address the avoiding-smiling-thing, he had done it before and Jacob had told me to wait for Paul to tell me, I wasn't going to push it.

Paul and Emily talked about the pack's progress, as they hadn't moved out of his wolf-hearing range yet. Victoria seemed to be trying to circle the town, trying to find an opening in their defense. I listened but didn't feel I had much to contribute, I had already told them everything I knew about her.

"So," Emily said, turning slightly to look at me when Paul had finished updating us. "How is school? Did you get that English paper back yet?" She asked. Emily was always making sure I kept up my grades and I talked to her about my homework and tests and she helped me quite a bit.

"Not the English one, but I did get back my biology one," I told her. "I got a 93 on it, so it wasn't as good as my last one but it was more difficult so I'm happy with the mark." I happened to glance at Paul when I finished talking and the look of shock on his face took me by surprise. "What?" I asked, I didn't understand what I had said.

"A 93? Not-not as good as the last one? What the hell?" He spluttered, looking like he didn't understand what he was hearing.

"Surprised that I'm not a complete idiot?" I asked, a little offended at his reaction. I know I didn't seem overly smart, but I worked very hard to do well in school, especially lately. It was still something to concentrate on that wasn't any of the life-threatening problems of recent.

"No, that's not what I mean, I'm just-" he took a deep breath. " _Fuck,_ " he muttered under his breath, causing Emily to smack him upside the head.

"How many times do I have to tell you to watch your language?" She asked sternly, but I could see the softness in her eyes meaning she wasn't really angry.

Why was he so flustered? I had never seen him like this, he always seemed confident, cocky even. He was actually really cute when he got worked up like this.

"I'm sorry, I only meant that I was impressed that you're still able to get near perfect grades with everything you've been through. You must be really smart and focused. It's impressive," he looked me in the eyes for the last few words, and I could feel myself getting red at the compliment.

"Thanks," I mumbled, not able to take my eyes away from his. They were beautiful eyes, such a dark brown that they were almost black, and warmth filled his face when I spoke. He was a beautiful person, I realized for the first time.

He smiled at me, for the first time, and I nearly melted. It was a heart-stopping smile, and I knew he could hear my heart, see me blushing.

"Uh," I started.  _Nice Bella, way to sound intelligent_ , "I just remembered that I have to finish some math homework and make Charlie dinner before he gets home." I started getting up out of my chair. "Could I stop by tomorrow after school, Em?"

"Of course you can sweetie, have a good night," she smiled warmly at me, and I smiled back, grateful to have her.

"It was great spending some time with you, Paul," I said, genuinely meaning it. I could see his face light up slightly at the words, but I ignored it. It probably didn't mean anything. "Maybe I'll see you tomorrow?"

He nodded at me, and I smiled at him before practically running out of Emily's house to my truck.

"What the fuck is happening?" I whispered to myself when I was finally in the safety of my truck. I shook my head, trying (unsuccessfully) to clear it before starting the engine and driving home.


	13. Chapter 13

"Angela!" I yelled after her when I saw her ahead of me in the hallway. She was the only person that I could talk to without feeling uncomfortable or like I was going to be judged.

"Oh, hey Bella, what's up?" She stopped and waited for me to catch up. She smiled at me and I returned the expression. Outside of the wolves, Angela was my best friend. She was kind and understanding, and didn't feel like every silence had to be filled with meaningless conversation, and we got along really well.

"Well," I started, hoping I didn't seem too awkward. "I have some questions for you…" I trailed off. I knew she wouldn't mock me or anything but I couldn't help feeling a little uncomfortable about the situation. "…about boys," I finished quietly, almost at a whisper. I didn't want anyone else hearing. This wasn't something I talked to people about a lot, especially not lately. And it became more uncomfortable when I knew I wouldn't be able to be as open about my situation as I would have liked but I needed to talk to someone with no bias, no preconceived notion of Paula and the wolf pack situation.

"Oh!" She sounded shocked, "Okay, yeah, no problem. Do you want to talk at lunch? We could sit alone, that's no problem." She smiled at me encouragingly and I felt myself relax a little bit. Hopefully this wouldn't turn out as horribly or awkwardly as I had been dreading.

At lunch we went outside because it was one of those rare sunny days that Forks didn't get a lot of. I used to hate these days, until recently. They reminded me of the Cullens, of… Edward. I was actually able to think his name now without wanting to curl up in a corner and cry. I mean, I couldn't talk about him to anyone, but this was a step forward, it was growth.

"Okay, so, what's going on?" Angela asked me when we had sat down and started eating. This is why I decided to talk to Angela, she got right to the point, no awkwardness, no judging.

"Okay, well," I started, not sure how to start, because I obviously couldn't say half the truth, the wolfy half. "Do you remember Jacob Black? From that time we went to La Push?"

She nodded, so I kept going. "Well, I've been hanging out with him a lot, and his friends. They're amazing, and funny, and we all get along really well. But there's this one boy in particular, Paul." I paused, and she just nodded her head, signalling me to keep going, so I did, and it all came out in a rush.

"Well, he seems like he can't stand to be around me, but occasionally I catch him staring at me and smiling when I laugh or talk, like he thinks I'm funny or whatever, and then yesterday him and I were at their friend Emily's house and he complimented me and seemed to like being around me, and I just don't know what his deal is and I'm very confused," I finished somewhat lamely, hoping she understood my babble.

Angela smiled at me, like I was missing something. "What do you think of Paul?" She asked, which caught me off guard. I wasn't expecting to talk about what I was feeling here, I just wanted to know what to do about Paul's weird behaviour.

"Well, I-I-" stammering, I took a breath. "That's not the point, I wanted to know if you knew what to do about him being weird and flaky and confusing." I waited for her to tell me, but she just raised an eyebrow at me and took a bite of her sandwich. I obviously wasn't getting out of her question that easily. I figured it would just be a waste of my time to try and deflect anymore, I knew Angela was a very patient woman.

I sighed, "I think he's really funny, and from what Jacob has told me, we would get along really well, if he would just give me a freaking chance." I left out the part where I thought he was completely and totally attractive, but I got a feeling that Angela could sense that part without me saying it. Shit.

"Well," she started, "it sounds like he likes you." I gaped at her, about to argue, until she put up a hand to silence me. I shut my mouth. "No, seriously. He acts all surly when you're paying attention but stares at you when he doesn't think you're looking? He smiles when you laugh, or talk, he compliments you when his friends aren't around you? What does that sound like to you?"

She had a point. If anyone had said that to me, I would come to the same conclusion as she did. And it's not like he didn't know anything about me, he knew everything Jake knew, he saw me through Jake's eyes. Well, shit. She might be right.

"Huh, I guess it sounds like he likes me, but maybe he doesn't want me to know?" I questioned. She nodded, seeming to have come to the same conclusion. I started eating my carrots. "Thanks Ange, that helps."

"Anytime," she laughed. "So, how is your history paper coming?"


	14. Chapter 14

I pulled up to Emily's house and turned off the engine in the truck. I took some time to take a few breaths before getting out. I needed to relax, this wasn't going to be any different than yesterday, just because Angela said he was interested doesn't mean he actually is, there's a possibility but it's a very small one. Why did I care anyways? It wasn't like-

"What the-" my inner babble was interrupted when my door was yanked open and I was being dragged out of my truck into a bone crushing hug. Jeez, déjà vu much?

"Oh, Bells, I missed you so much!" Jacob nearly shouted in my ear before finally setting me down on the ground, where I could actually breathe. I looked up at him, clutching my chest, and I couldn't help but feel better with Jacob smiling at me like that. He just looked so damn happy to see me.

"Jake! You need to stop doing that! You're going to stop my heart one day, or suffocate me. I am a fragile human!" I tried to shout at him but the angry tone was ruined by my smile and the fact that I was still trying to catch my breath.

He laughed, "Sorry Bella, I'm just excited to see you!" He threw his arm around my shoulder and we walked into Emily's place, where the kitchen was full of wolves devouring cookies, muffins, and every other piece of food in sight. Emily was smart, stocking up on food, they definitely did eat everything when they got back from a few days away. Speaking of which…

"So, what happened?" I asked the room at large. I took a glance around, noticing Paul wasn't there. I would ask about that later. I needed to know about Victoria right now.

"We chased her around the border of the town, with her trying to push in closer all the while. We didn't catch her but we didn't get hurt either, and after a few days we decided to come back and try and come up with a new plan," Sam told me in a voice full of authority. I nodded at him, relieved nobody had been hurt, but hoping this would end soon. Things would be much easier when she wasn't trying to constantly kill me. And I knew she wouldn't give up, even if Edward had left me alone and unprotected as Laurent had pointed out to me, she still blamed me for James' death.

"We'll get her Bella," Embry told me. I smiled at him, I knew they wouldn't give up, and not just for my sake. She was a threat to everyone here. I just hoped none of them would be hurt in the process, I loved them all and I don't know if I could forgive myself if someone was hurt or killed because of someone that was after me.

"I know you will, and I hope you know how much I appreciate everything you guys have done for me," I told them, my voice full of gratitude. "I know it's not just me you're protecting but I'm the only human that knows everything you're doing, so I want to thank you on behalf of everyone you're protecting." They all smiled at me, and then they must have felt a little awkward with the gratitude, and they started arguing amongst themselves. I laughed, and started talking to Jacob, about nothing in particular.

After a while I told Jacob I had to go to the bathroom and I headed upstairs. I probably took a little longer than necessary but I needed a break from the socializing. Sometimes it still tired me out to be around people for a longer period of time, after not doing it for months.

I started walking down the stairs and I remembered my foot slipping and the feeling in your stomach that you get when you miss a step and then everything went black.

* * *

"No, do NOT tell me to calm down Jacob!" I heard someone yelling, and it hurt my head a little. Or maybe my head already hurt, I wasn't totally sure about that. Everything seemed really fuzzy, and I couldn't open my eyes or everything got really dizzy, so I just kept them closed. Maybe I could go back to sleep, maybe that would help.

"She's fine, she just-" I heard Jacob trying to tell whoever was yelling.

"She is obviously not fine! She's unconscious! She fell down the stairs and smacked her head! You were supposed to be taking care of her!  _This_  is not taking care of someone!"

"I'm sorry, what did you expect me to do?" Jacob was getting irritated now, I could hear it. "Did you want me to follow her into the bathroom?"

"Well, fuck I don't know but maybe you could have kept a better eye on her!"

"Please stop…" I tried to say, but it was barely a whisper and I knew nobody heard me.

"You know what, back off man, maybe if you weren't such a coward-"

"What did you just call me?"

"Guys, please," I tried again. It was louder this time, but not loud enough to be heard over the shouting. "Please, would you two just  **SHUT UP**!" I managed to yell the last two words, and I heard the arguing stop abruptly in the other room. Next thing I heard was scrambling to get to where I was laying on Emily's couch.

I rolled over onto my side so I was facing whoever I had heard sit down in front of me, I assumed it was Jacob. Which is why I was surprised to see Paul when I finally opened my eyes.

"How do you feel?" He asked me, face full of concern. It stunned me for a moment, so that I couldn't think of words to respond with. With him this close to me I could see just how handsome he really was, and all I wanted to do was touch his face and wipe away the concern there. I almost had to stop myself from reaching out my hand to rub the frown line on his forehead.

"F-fine," I managed to say, it was the only word I could think with him so close. Aside from how attractive he was, he also smelled  _amazing_. Earthy and warm, with a hint of chocolate and cinnamon. And the smile he gave me when he heard me say I was fine was breathtaking. Literally, my breath caught in my throat and I forgot how to breathe for a moment.

Jeez, what was happening to me? This had only happened the one time – with Edward.  _Shit_.

"What? What's wrong?" Paul asked me, sounding worried again. I heard Jacob laugh behind him, and I was confused again.

Paul whipped around to glare at Jacob.

"She's fine, Paul," he told him exasperatedly. He was smirking.

"Then why did she say 'shit'?" He asked, he sounded frustrated. Oh fuck, I said that out loud. I hated when I did that.

"She just does that sometimes," Jake was explaining to Paul. "She says things out loud when she's thinking them sometimes. She doesn't realize it though." Jacob smirked at me and I stuck my tongue out at him. Sometimes we were really juvenile.

Paul had turned back around to see me laughing at Jacob, and Jacob started laughing, too. Paul had gone back to looking like his grumpy self again.

"Well then, good, glad you're okay," he said gruffly, and it seemed like he was forcing the words out, or maybe forcing himself to sound as calm as he did, I couldn't be sure. He got up and walked out of the room so fast I couldn't turn my head fast enough to see him leave. That might have just been the headache though.

Jacob came and sat in front of me, smirking at the doorway where Paul had been before smirking at me.

"What?" I asked him, waiting for him to tease me for thinking out loud again. He always did.

He laughed a bit, "Nothing Bells, you two just make me laugh."

"'Us two'? What did we do?" I asked him, because I  _still_  didn't understand Paul's mood swings, but Jacob obviously knew what was going on.

"Nothing Bells," he repeated, smirking. I never thought he would tell me, it was worth a try though. Jacob lifted me so that my head was in his lap and he brushed my hair until I fell asleep again.


	15. Chapter 15

I was struggling between whether I should shift or not. I wanted to give into my anger and frustration but I didn't feel like hearing everyone else's thoughts, and I didn't feel like them hearing mine either. I decided to use this as a great time to show control over my emotions and the shifting. I was the worst at controlling my shifting still, and it had been long enough that I shouldn't have such a hard time anymore.

I took a few deep breaths, "Relax, just calm down," I chastised myself. "Jeez, Paul, she's just a girl."

But that was a lie and I knew it. She wasn't  _just a girl_ , she was Bella. She was  _the_  girl, the person I would do anything for, the one I needed to keep safe at all times, the girl I would love until I died. She was like glasses, I could finally see everything clearly, but I hadn't realized I couldn't see properly until I saw her. My life had been without meaning, without purpose, until she had given me a reason to live. Not that I hadn't been happy with my life before, but I had always felt… lost. But she was like a light in the darkness, like the only colour in a black and white world. I knew what my purpose was now.

"God, what's wrong with me?" I asked myself angrily.

I thought back to when I had been talking to her, and how weird I had been acting. She probably thought I was insane. I groaned and collapsed on the grass with my head in my hand. What was wrong with me? I had been asking myself that for weeks now, ever since I had Imprinted on her. How could it be Bella Swan? The girl that was in love with a fucking vampire!

I had seen her in Jacob's head, and she actually seemed amazing – she was smart, pretty, funny, nearly perfect. If it weren't for the vampire of it all, I would have talked to her already. But I knew she was going through so much, she was emotionally wrecked from what Jacob had seen and I didn't want to be another person she was scared of getting close to. So I had been keeping my distance, staying as far away from her as I could handle, which meant not sitting beside her at a table, standing on the other side of the room, staying outside of Emily's house when she was there. But I never stayed too far, it's why I volunteered to stay behind when everyone else went hunting for the red-head, I couldn't stand to be that far from her, not when she was the direct target.

And then, I had shown up at Emily's house tonight, later than everyone else because I knew she would okay with Jacob and the rest of the pack there. And she had fucking tripped down the stairs and knocked herself out? Who managed to hurt themselves as often as she did? I knew I would have to apologize to Jake about yelling at him, I knew it hadn't been his fault. I was just worried and lashing out at him because it was easier, he was there. I was just jealous that he could manage to have such an easy friendship with her and I could barely manage to form a coherent thought around her.

She probably thought I was a fucking idiot, or that I was crazy with the being nice to her one minute and an emotionless dick the next. Fuck.

I was just too tired to fight the wolf now, so I walked back over to Emily's and stood on her porch, listening. I could hear Bella and Jacob sitting in the living room, talking. I relaxed a bit and shifted, curling up on the porch and falling asleep.

* * *

"Jake, shut it," I heard someone saying, she had the most beautiful voice I'd ever heard, and I curled up closer to her. I heard someone else laughing but I ignored it, I wanted the other voice. "I'm serious, leave him alone, he looks so happy."

The words started to sink in, and I realized what was actually being said.  _What the fuck?_  I opened my eyes and saw Bella sitting beside me on the… porch? What was going on? And then she smiled at me, a genuine, sweet smile that had me melting, so I smiled back at her. She laughed a little and touched the top of my head, and it felt nice, so I leaned into the touch. That was when I realized why Jacob was laughing.

I was still a wolf. Bella had been petting me. I had probably been making happy puppy noises.  _Oh fuck_. I had to stay calm though, I didn't want to freak out, or freak her out. She must have felt me tense up though because she took her hand away.

And I whined.  _I fucking whined_. God, I was so whipped. But, then I heard her laugh a little, and it was a beautiful sound, and I opened my eyes. She always looked perfect when she laughed.

"It's fine, I just was going to give you some privacy if you wanted to shift back and put some clothes on," she explained, pointing out the pants beside her that I had taken off earlier before shifting. I nodded my head and stood up after she did. I rubbed the side of my face against her shoulder as she walked past me and she laughed again. I needed to definitely save that sound in my memory.

Jacob stayed behind, we had all seen each other naked enough, it didn't make us uncomfortable anymore. I shifted and grabbed my pants and started pulling them on, keeping eye contact with Jacob the whole time. He was smirking, it was annoying.

"What the hell are you looking at, Black?" I asked him as aggressively as I could. He laughed, knowing I wouldn't do anything to him, because it would hurt Bella and I couldn't do that to her. Fuck him. "Whatever, screw you," I shot at him.

"Can I come out now?" Bella called, and I laughed. I thought it was funny that she was so concerned with my nudity, because I didn't care anymore, there were worse things than people seeing me naked.

"Yeah, I'm dressed," I called back and she came back, smiling still. "How do you feel? Does your head hurt? Should we take you to a doctor? We probably-"

"Paul," she interrupted, smiling. "I'm fine, I've had worse, earlier this year I was thrown against a wall and had shattered glass embedded in my back and arm and vampires almost attacking me. A fall down the stairs is fine," she laughed.

It bothered me how nonchalant she was about the near-death experiences she seemed to come by so frequently. It seemed to bother Jacob too, he was looking at her and his mouth was hanging open. Wait, did he now know about this?

"Oh, uhm, when did that happen?" I asked, curious. I didn't know much about what had happened to her when she was with the Cullens, she hadn't told Jacob anything really.

"My birthday party," she said, conversationally. "Happy birthday to me, huh?" She laughed, and I couldn't help the soft smile that appeared on my face. She really was beautiful.

"Okay well, if you're sure you don't want to go to the hospital…" I trailed off, looking at her to see if she would change her mind. She smiled at me, shaking her head no. I sighed, "Fine, but let me drive you home?"

She looked shocked at my offer, but I wasn't ready to let her out of my sights just yet. I needed to make sure she got home safe. She nodded and I felt relieved. Part of me was worried she would say no, ask for Jacob to drive her. I smiled at her, she smiled back, positively beaming. My heart stuttered and I saw Jacob laugh quietly behind her so she wouldn't hear.

Fuck him.


	16. Chapter 16

Paul helped me into my truck and closed the door for me, like a real gentleman, I was impressed. He got in and started driving me home, and I finally had my chance to confront him about his weird behaviour.

"Paul," I started, ignoring the nervousness in my tone. I needed to do this. "I'm just going to be honest with you, I have questions. And you don't have to answer them, but I need to ask them, or I might go a little crazy constantly thinking about the possibilities." I knew I was rambling, like I always did when I was nervous, but I couldn't care. I needed to know.

"Anything, Bella," he told me, keeping his eyes on the road. However, I did see his hands grip the wheel a little tighter and I just hoped I wouldn't push it. I don't think my truck could handle a werewolf shifting in it, and I knew that Paul had the hardest time controlling his emotions and shifts.

"Do you like me? Because it usually seems like you hate me. Except for yesterday at Emily's and today when I fell down the stairs. And I mean, I sometimes see you smiling at me but you stop as soon as you notice I'm looking. So, do you like me? Or did I do something to make you dislike me…?" I trailed off, my nerves taking over and making me stop my questions. I really didn't want to completely ruin this relationship because it would be really awkward at meetings and stuff.

He seemed to be considering the way he was going to answer, which concerned me. Why did he have to think so hard about if he liked me or not?

"No," he said, and I felt my face fall. I had really been hoping Jacob was right, that he didn't hate me. "I mean, no, you haven't done anything to make me dislike you. I like you a lot, actually, I just feel like I need to give you space," he explained, and then I was confused.

"Why?"

"Well, I don't know exactly what happened, but I know you've had a hard year, emotionally," he told me, still not taking his eyes off the road even though I hadn't taken my eyes off him. "I was there when Sam found you in the woods, I saw how… broken you were. I don't know what-what" he took a deep breath to steady himself, "what  _he_  did to you, but I knew that you were vulnerable. I also know Jacob is the one person you trust, the one person that is actually helping you, and I didn't want to interfere with that. You're still getting your life back together, and it's amazing how much you've changed since that night in the woods and I don't want to do anything to hinder that progress."

I sat and digested everything he had said. Wow, he was really mature, more mature than I had thought he was. But I didn't understand how he would interfere? The rest of the pack had no problem talking to me, being nice to me, joking around.

"But, how would you interfere? The rest of the pack doesn't feel like they're interfering, and they're not, they're helping," I told him. Maybe he just didn't understand that the more people treated me like a person, as opposed to glass that could shatter at any sudden movement, the more I managed to rebuild myself.

He turned a corner and I could see my house. I knew I wouldn't get a chance like this again so I wasn't going to let him leave until I was done asking what I needed to ask.

"Bella," he seemed to be bracing himself for something. He pulled into the driveway and parked the car. He stayed looking through the front window, I continued looking at the side of his face.

"Bella, I love you," he forced the words out like they were stuck in his throat. I just stared at him, not sure I had heard him properly. He had barely talked to me, made eye contact with me, it didn't make sense.

He turned to me finally, looking me in the eyes for the first time since yesterday. "Not-not like,  _fuck_ , uh," he was getting worked up again and I saw him close his eyes and take a deep breath. "I Imprinted on you," he whispered, finally opening his eyes.

I hadn't moved since he had said he loved me, but I blinked and bit my lip, still not moving my eyes from his. That actually… made more sense to me. I wasn't bothered by that, it explained a lot of not just his behaviour but other people's, too.

It was why he had run out of the house when he had first talked to me, Sam and Emily had shared that look, why the pack had started laughing, why Jacob hadn't been as seemingly in love with me. This was the thing that I had been needing to know, the puzzle piece that had been missing. I nodded.

Then I punched him.

"Ow! What the fuck!" He shouted, rubbing the place where I had punched him.

"Oh, that didn't hurt," I shot back at him.

"Well, no," he said, "not physically. But emotionally Bella, that hurt my feelings," he argued. He pointed to his heart and I couldn't help it. I started laughing, and I couldn't stop. And then he was laughing too.

Eventually I stopped and caught my breath, I had laughed so hard I was crying and had somehow found myself leaning against Paul's arm. He was warm and it felt nice being close to him. I sighed and leaned into him.

"I really like you Paul," I mumbled, "and I really want to get to know you. So please, stop avoiding me. We both know it hurts you to be away from me, and I don't want that." Wow, that sounded really conceded but like Jacob had told me that it was really hard for a wolf to be away from his Imprintee for a long time. I looked up at him, and he was looking down at me. I could see it now, the caring in his eyes. He just wanted what was best for me, and that felt nice.

"Okay, I'll stop avoiding you," he conceded. I smiled at him, and he looked momentarily stunned. He cleared his throat before saying, "but you have to dictate the boundaries here, I can't do that for you. If you want me around more, tell me, less, tell me, if you want me to sit beside you, tell me-"

"I gotcha," I told him. "I will let you know whenever I want something, sounds good to me." I moved off him, sitting up properly. I looked back at him and he was pouting a little, I laughed.

I gently touched the side of his face and he leaned into it, his eyes closed and he had a soft, content smile. Just like when I had been petting him earlier. I smiled.

"Are you okay getting home?" I asked him and he just nodded. "Okay, well, get home. You look tired and you could probably use some more sleep, you look like you've had a long day," I told him. "I'll be back at Emily's tomorrow, promise."

"Fine," he sighed, looking sad.

"Do you want to pick me up from school tomorrow?" I asked, and he perked up a bit at that. "I'll have to come back here after that to make dinner for Charlie but if you want to, you can." He smiled, and I felt better. Seeing him smile made my heart feel lighter, he looked so handsome and worry-free. It was nice.

"Okay! I will see you tomorrow then, go upstairs and get some rest," he told me before getting out of the truck to open my door for me. "Maybe take something for your head, and be careful tomorrow please, and call me if you need anything," he rambled off before making himself stop talking.

"I will do all of that, promise," I told him. He looked relieved and I smiled at him.

Then he gently touched his palm to my cheek and brought his lips down to kiss my forehead. It felt very nice – warm, caring, relaxing. When he pulled away I could see he was blushing, so I hugged him, hoping it would make him feel like I wasn't opposed to showing we cared about each other.

Because while I wasn't completely sure of how I wanted this relationship to go, I knew I wanted it. I cared about Paul, and he made me feel better, like I wasn't a broken mess, like I had the potential to be fixed, cared about, loved. I needed him in my life, and I knew he was one person I wouldn't lose.


	17. Chapter 17

"So, how do you think you did on the algebra test earlier?" I asked Angela, knowing I hadn't done as well as I would have liked, but math really wasn't my strongest subject. But I think I had gotten at least an 80, which was still an improvement from my math grades last semester.

"I think I did alright, but I know I got some formulas mixed up," Angela told me. I was so glad Angela and I had been able to become friends again after my absence because she understood me so well, better than any other human, except my dad.

We walked in silence to the parking lot because we were comfortable in silence, which was always something I continued to admire about her. I was thinking about the test from this morning, and the new English assignment that we had gotten in last period. I was about to ask her what she was thinking about as an argument when –

"Bella?" I heard Angela's question, it didn't sound worried, just curious. "Is that boy out there staring at you?"

I looked up and couldn't stop the smile from spreading across my face, no matter how hard I tried. He smiled back at me, and I realized he could hear my heart beat as well as see my smile, the blush spreading across my cheeks.

"So, that's Paul," Angela said, and I turned to see her smirking at me. I blushed even harder, trying to hide my face. She laughed and grabbed my arm, pulling me along to my truck where he was standing.

"Bella," Paul nodded to me, smiling like we share an inside joke, and I guess it's just him finally being happy that he can be honest with me, comfortable around me.

Angela holds out her hand, "Hi, I'm Angela," she smiles at him and he takes her hand. "Bella has told me a lot about you Paul," she says, and I elbow her in the ribs. Now, I'm going to have to explain this to him.

Paul laughs, "I hope it isn't all bad, I'm not as big of a dick as she initially thought, we had a long talk about it last night." He smiles at me again, a warm smile full of affection. My blush, which had just been fading from my cheeks comes back, full force. Jeez, how could a 16-year-old have such a powerful control over my reactions?

"So, I was right," Angela stated. "You love her?" She clarified with Paul. He simply nodded, and me being the most awkward human being alive just whipped my head around trying to look for anything to take me out of this moment. Literally anything.

A plane falling out of the sky, a swarm of mutant, killer bees come to attack me, a heart attack.  **Anything**.

"Alright, well, I'd like to assume that, even if none of us really know what happened a few months ago, if you hurt her the same way he hurt her, and I lose my best friend again I will be extremely unhappy with you," she told Paul, with a smile still on her face. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"I do, and you have no idea how truthful I'm being when I say it would kill me more than you understand if any harm were to come to Bella, especially if that harm was because of something I did," he said this very seriously. I stared at him. I never thought he would say any of this to anyone. Maybe he knew how important Angela was to me. Obviously he knew, what the hell was I thinking. He had seen my conversations with Jacob about her.

"Okay, well, this has been incredibly awkward," I pushed myself between them, facing Ange. "I'm bring Paul back to the rez after I finish making dinner for Charlie, but do you want to hang out tomorrow to work on the English assignment and then study up on some more math stuff so we feel more confident for the next test?" Angela chuckled and nodded before patting my arm and raising her eyebrows at me and smirking. Her sign for 'He's cute!' I smirked and looked at my feet.

"I'll see you tomorrow Bella!" She called airily over her shoulder, and I knew I would be telling her about everything that had happened since I had asked her for advice.

"Okay, let's go," I told Paul. "But I'm driving."

* * *

When we had gotten to my place I started pulling out the chicken I had been marinating in the fridge since last night after school. It smelled delicious, and I threw it in a baking dish to cook in the oven. I also took out some vegetables to cut up and put in the rice that I would be making once the chicken was almost done.

"So, what happened with the math test you want to study for for next time? Did you get below a 90?" He laughed when I gave him a look to say 'yes, shut up.'

"As a matter of fact, I don't know what I got on it yet, we had the test this morning, but I didn't feel as confident as I would have liked," I explained. He smiled at me. "Well, I like to do my best in school, it's something I have always prided myself in, and math is always something I've had to work harder for."

"So, what is your favourite subject?" He asked me, and I think this was one of the first personal questions he had ever asked me.

"I like English and Science," I told him, turning to smile at him.

He furrowed his brow, like he was confused by my response. "Aren't those two vastly different subjects?" My smile widened, because I understood the confusion, and where people would get that from, but I disagreed.

"It depends on how you see the subjects," I explained, going back to cutting up the peppers. He took the onion and another knife from the block and began cutting that for me. "English is not as opinionated and inaccurate as most people believe. There are in fact many wrong answers in the subject, you can't just say something and decide you're right because you think you are. You need proof, reason behind an answer, just like in science. They are much more similar than most people see. I like that about them, the necessity of proof and reason, it helps me understand it."

"I see, that's very intellectual of you, Ms. Swan," he told me, and I knew he wasn't mocking me, he was actually impressed by my views, interested in what I had to say. It was nice. "But aren't math and science similar subjects?"

"They are, but I didn't like science until I saw its similarity to English. I always liked reading growing up, I always liked my English classes, and one of my middle school science teachers recognized that and they were the person that explained why they were alike. Math isn't like English in the same ways as Science is and I can't relate them in my head," I told him. "I have a very English track mind, and anything I can fit into that thought process I can find a way to understand it better, but if I can't fit it into the way my mind works I have to work harder to understand it in its own right."

I looked over at him, expecting him to laugh at me for being so serious, or think I was crazy. But instead I saw something very close to awe in his face.

"What?" I asked, very confused at the way he seemed to see me.

"You're just, you're very different than I thought you would be," he told me. I raised an eyebrow at him, not quite sure if that was meant to be a compliment or not. "I don't mean that in a bad way, I promise. I just have my own preconceived opinions about the people you used to spend time with and those opinions initially were transferred to you. But now that I am getting to know more about you, through my own experiences, not through the thoughts and views of other people, I'm starting to wonder if my opinions were wrong to begin with," he said, but as he got farther in the explanation I wasn't sure if he was talking to me, or explaining it to himself, or both.

"But then again," he argued, "they were never really my opinions to begin with," he reasoned. That was the first time I had heard any of the wolves argue with their deeply engrained hatred for vampires, specifically the Cullens. "Anyways, what are we doing with the vegetables?"

I grabbed a pot and we finished making dinner before putting everything in a container in the fridge for Charlie. I left a note on the table explaining where dinner was, that I would be home tomorrow night and Angela would be coming to study, and where I would be tonight. Then we left for Emily's house to spend time with the rest of the pack.

 


	18. Chapter 18

"You know," I hedged with Paul, "I can't concentrate on driving as well when you just stare at me. It's very distracting," I glanced at him, smiling so that he would know I wasn't serious, I just wanted him to say something. I liked hearing him talk, it was nice, relaxing. He had a very nice voice. And surprisingly he had interesting views of the world, in ways that most teenage boys didn't.

He laughed. "Well, what do you want me to say?" He questioned. I could tell that he was a little unsure of where we stood with each other and this new aspect of our relationship. I understood that, this was all new to me as well and it wasn't expected.

"Well, what did you do today? What do you guys do during the day when you aren't on 'Bella-Watch?'" I asked, smirking at my name for their patrolling and making sure I was safe. I thought I was funny – Jacob usually laughed, too, but that might have just been him laughing at me laughing.

"I'm going to call it that from now on, that sounds more fun than patrol," he grinned, and then seemed to remember I actually asked him something. "I do school work, just not at school," he explained. I raised an eyebrow in question and he continued. "Well, because we have weird schedules and stuff we just decided it was easier to do all of our schoolwork from home and hand it in every week when we have time. It just makes everything simpler, especially right now."

I nodded, that made sense. "Oh, okay, so is that what you did today?" He nodded.

"What did you do today?" He asked, smirking at me.

"I had school," I told him sarcastically. "Can I ask you something?" Taking his silence as conformation I continued, "You obviously know a lot about me, from Jacob, but is there anything you don't know that you would like to? Like anything, and if I feel like answering it I will."

He seemed to be in thought for a minute and I started to get slightly tense thinking about what he was going to ask. I know I said anything but I started to regret it, I obviously wasn't comfortable with certain topics yet, at least not getting into detail about it, not yet.

"What's your favourite colour?" He asked me, and I looked at him in bewilderment. It was just such a simple question and after that long pause it was  _not_  the one I expected. But his expression was completely serious.

"I mean, I don't really have one," I answered finally. I glanced at him again and he looked confused so I kept going. "It changes everyday. Today it's yellow, I miss the sun." I told him, expecting him to laugh but I just saw him in the corner of my eye nod his head thoughtfully. We were almost to Emily's but he asked me a few more questions like that before we got there (favourite movie, last time I was on a roller coaster, did I like swimming). I was confused about why he was asking me these seemingly pointless questions but I didn't say anything, it was nice that he was interested.

"I just like knowing things about you that I found out myself, not through Jacob," he explained, and I wasn't sure if it was because he felt the need to explain or if he knew I was confused. Either way, I understood and told him as much.

"I'm assuming the rest of the pack knows that I know," I said, it wasn't really a question seeing as they couldn't really keep secrets from each other. Unless he hadn't shifted since yesterday but I doubted it. I looked at him when he didn't answer and he seemed confused. "That I know that you Imprinted on me…?" I said slowly, and then laughing when I saw comprehension dawn on his face.

"Ohhhhhh! Yes, they know," he told me, laughing a bit. "That's okay right? I should have asked," he looked a little concerned but I just waved his concern away.

"Obviously it's okay, it's not like you couldn't tell them, and they already knew you had, I don't see the difference other than now you don't have to look so grumpy all the time," I joked and was surprised when he laughed, I was just so used to brooding, grumpy Paul. I parked the truck outside Emily's house and shut it off before taking a deep breath, readying myself.

"What's wrong?" Paul asked. He turned himself to look at me, and I gave him a reassuring smile.

"I just know they're going to be obnoxious now, I was preparing myself for it," I laughed. The pack wouldn't actually bother me, it was just quiet in here with Paul, and I knew I would be surrounded by big, loud boys for the rest of the night. Boys I loved, definitely, but Paul was nice and quiet and calming.

"I understand, sometimes I have to do the same thing before I see them," he admitted, which was nice to know I wasn't the only one. "It's nice being around you, you're funny and I feel very comfortable. Like I can be myself, and like I can be serious if I wanted but I could also make jokes and have a good time, too," he told me, and I could see he wasn't used to saying so much at once. I appreciated the honesty, especially when it wasn't something he did very often.

I reached across to him and he shifted his body closer to me so we were right beside each other. Normally this might have made me nervous, being so close to someone, but it didn't with Paul, I felt safe. I tentatively reached my hand out towards him, and when he didn't pull away or protest in any way, I ran my fingers through his hair. It was soft, and he was warm, obviously. He closed his eyes at the touch. I leaned forward and put my head on his shoulder. He tentatively put his arm around my waist and pulled me a little closer to him, and it felt nice being here with him, like this. Until –

"Okay lovebirds I think you guys can stop that and come inside, Emily made sandwiches!" Embry was banging on the hood of my truck, laughing.

"For fuck's sake," I grumbled. I heard a laugh rumble in Paul's chest and I sat up, taking my hand out of his hair, but his arm stayed protectively around my waist. "I swear to all that is good Embry, if you damage this truck I will beat you senseless!" When I just heard a resounding laugh, I switched tactics, "I will cry, and be very upset, and I can only imagine what Paul would do if that were to happen." I saw his face pale, and he took a few steps away from my truck.

"You wouldn't," he hedged, cautious now. I just shrugged and shot him a wicked grin. Now I had a new threat that they might actually take seriously – I wouldn't use it all the time but it would be useful. I looked at Paul who was trying to control himself until he couldn't hold in the laughter any longer. I smiled at him, I would never get tired of hearing him laugh. He laid his head on my shoulder and eventually the laughter began to die down.

"Oh god, the look on his face was priceless," he gasped when he could finally breathe properly again. "Okay, let's go inside, Emily makes good sandwiches." He withdrew his arm from around me and we both got out and walked into the house behind Embry.

I smiled at Embry and nudged his arm, and he did the same back.

"Bella!" Everybody called out to greet me when I walked into the kitchen. It was always so funny when I came over, because even if they had seen me the day before they made it seem like they hadn't seen me in days, or weeks.

Jacob came over and hugged me, Paul went and grabbed some plates for us and some sandwiches.

"Hey Jake," I grinned at him. He grinned back and I pushed his shoulder. He was nice enough to pretend I had the strength to move him. I walked over to the three empty chairs at the table and I sat in the middle one, assuming Jacob and Paul would want to sit beside me, and when I looked over at Paul I could see him looking happily surprised that I had sat there.

"So, Bella," Embry started, and I could hear him suppressing a laugh. I looked over at him, surprised it had taken so long for someone to say something. "You punched him?" I sat stunned for a moment, I don't know what I had been expecting but that wasn't it. I heard Jacob snort, and then everyone else started laughing, too, including Paul. I grinned.

"Yes Embry, I punched him," I confirmed. Paul passed me my food and I smiled warmly at him, he still looked very happy. I looked down, blushing, aware of everyone watching us. Jacob cleared his throat, trying to ease the tension.

"So, Bella, sorry to make the mood dark and all, but we still haven't been able to catch her, that redhead," he told me seriously. I nodded, I had assumed as much, I had also figured out that was probably one of the reasons Paul was so anxious to leave me for any amount of time.

"I gathered as much, and I have an idea," I told them, because I had been thinking about this for a while. "I think you guys need to leave me alone, let her come to me, and then surround her. If you can keep her in a smaller area, she won't have anywhere to run and you'll have-"

"No. No. That's not happening, no," Paul interrupted me, raising his voice so it was louder than mine. I opened my mouth to respond but he just speaks over me again, "NO BELLA, we're not gambling your life on a  _chance_  that it might work. This is not a good idea, this is suicide," he told me. I huffed out a sigh and looked to my left to see if Jacob agreed with him. He looked conflicted.

"You agree with me, don't you? You all know it's the only way to catch her," I stated, looking around the room at them. They all had a relatively similar look to Jacob's, they all agreed with me but they also agreed with Paul. "Alright, listen, I know it's not safe, I know it's not the most ideal plan, but unless someone else has a better one, this is what we should do," I knew I was making sense, so I thought I would just say one last thing to push my point. "And isn't it my life, my choice?" And then I sat back and waited. I had said all I needed to say and was just going to wait to see what they had to say.

It was silent for a moment before: "She's right. It's the only thing we haven't tried yet." It was Sam, and I knew that if Sam could agree with me, there was a good chance they would be trying out my plan after all.

"NO!" Paul screamed, furious that Sam had agreed with me, because he knew as well as I did what Sam's decision meant. I looked at him and I could see he was shaking. Instinctively, I grabbed his hand, trying to calm him down and he looked at me. He looked angry but I could see in his eyes it was more than that, he was terrified of what this decision could mean. So. I did the only thing that felt natural - I hugged him, wrapped my arms around his waist and putting my forehead against his shoulder, trying to show him that I was still here, still safe. I felt him freeze, and then after what seemed like several tense hours, but was probably only seconds, he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pressed his face into my hair. He took a deep breath and whispered, "I don't want to lose you, I can't, not when I've just found you."

I held on tighter, "You won't have to, not if everything works the way I plan it to," I whispered back. I felt him sigh, and I knew that, even though he didn't want to do it, he knew this was our best chance. He also knew this was ultimately my choice, considering it was my life being threatened, and I was the reason she was here in the first place. I don't know if any of them knew that though,  _why_  she was targeting me. I don't know how they could.

Paul let go of me and nodded to Sam, "It's her choice, her life. I just don't like the danger in it, the 'gambling with her life' aspect of the plan," he told them all. They all nodded, they didn't like it either, but it was all they had.

"We'll do what we can, you know we wouldn't let anything happen to her if we could stop it, we'll do everything we can," Jared said, smiling at me reassuringly. I smiled at him, at all of them. I trusted them completely, I knew I would be fine.

"I know you guys will protect me, I know I'll be fine," I told them. "She's here because of me anyways, so I need to finish this. Even if I didn't necessarily start it," I trailed off, half talking to myself. Paul had kept his arm around my shoulders but he moved his entire body to face me.

"Okay, Bells, I know you don't want to talk about anything that happened last year," I heard Jacob saying beside me. I turned to look at him better, and I could see he looked highly concerned but also… determined? "But you need to tell us everything about this crazy bitch."

I took a deep breath and then nodded, he was right. They needed to know everything, because it may actually help them understand her better, why she was doing what she was doing, why she was targeting me. They needed to know everything to lay down their lives for me.

* * *

"Okay, so, you're saying she's pissed," Paul was saying, trying to comprehend everything I had just told them all about last year with James and Victoria, "because her boyfriend attacked  _you_  and the Cullens defended you and he died?"

I nodded, "Yes, and she believes that it's only fair that I die because she thinks I'm still Edward's 'mate.' I mean, that's what Laurent told me when he almost killed me," I told them all. It didn't exactly make any sense to me either, obviously the Cullens weren't here anymore, I didn't understand exactly why she hadn't just given up yet. But I suppose that after living for as long as she had and would, this wasn't too long of a time. Time was irrelevant if you had forever to grieve and get revenge.

"Well, even if she is crazy, now we know everything, why she's still here, why she is so adamant to get to Bella, and that could give us an advantage. If we leave Bella alone in a secluded area long enough, she won't be able to resist the opportunity," Embry reasoned. "No matter how smart she is, she's driven by rage and grief, which makes people not think clearly."

I agreed, this was my exact reasoning when I had been thinking about this, and now that the pack knew we could get started on planning how to trap her. I had started getting a little nervous thinking about being alone with her and I don't know if Paul had picked up on it but I felt his hand go around my waist and it was comforting. I also instinctively reached for Jake's hand, needing to feel he was safe and beside me. I had all of my boys with me and I knew nothing would happen to me, but I was terrified that any of them would get hurt, and it would be all my fault.


	19. Chapter 19

I woke up the next day and realized I had actually slept through the night without any nightmares. That was the first time in months because even if the screaming had stopped, the nightmares hadn't, I had just learned to continue sleeping through it, to manage to push through it. I smiled because I had actually had a good night's sleep for once and it was nice to feel refreshed and not exhausted.

I got ready for school, emailed my mom – nothing of importance really just letting her know I'm alive and doing okay – and then went downstairs. I was earlier than usual and Charlie was still upstairs getting ready so I decided to make us breakfast. Pancakes and eggs and bacon, we both hadn't had a breakfast like that in a while.

I was just putting the food on the plates when I heard Charlie walking downstairs. I set the plates on the table and got myself a glass of milk, knowing Charlie would get himself a coffee.

"Uh, good morning," he said, and it seemed more like a hesitant question than a greeting but I let that slide. I smiled back at him in response and began eating, and I had to say, it was good food.

"Thanks Bells," he said when he had made his coffee and sat down. We ate in comfortable silence, it was nice. I had begun to realize last year how similar I was to Charlie, so much more than I was like my mother. I loved her, she was my best friend, but being around Charlie was comforting in a way being around my mother couldn't be. My mother was not calm, so anything around her tended to be hectic and sometimes confusing.

Charlie finished his breakfast as I was washing my plate and so I grabbed his and washed it, too, setting them in the rack to dry. Charlie went to the door to get his coat and shoes, yelling goodbye to me. I reminded him that Angela would be coming over tonight and we would probably just order pizza for dinner, we hadn't done that in a while. I heard him pull away from the house and I went upstairs to grab my bag and then I was driving to school.

I got to school half an hour before I normally did and I went to find Angela. I knew she would want to talk to me about Paul, and I would rather do it when there weren't as many people around to be nosy.

I found her in the cafeteria, looking over the homework from last night. "Hey Ange," I greeted her, sitting down beside her. She looked up, surprised I was there, and closed her books.

"Bella, hey, you're here earlier than usual," she noted, but she seemed happy to see me. "So, what's going on with Paul?" She jumped right to the point.

I laughed, "In all honesty, not much. He likes me, and I like him, but I'm not sure how much I like him and if I'm ready to be in a relationship right now. And he understands, and he is perfectly happy just being friends and hanging out," I told her, not hesitating to tell her as much as I could, obviously avoiding certain aspects of our relationship.

Angela looked astonished, almost disbelieving, of Paul being so okay with just being friends. But there was no way I could properly explain everything to her, not in a way she would understand. But I knew Angela wouldn't push anything, and she would trust me to know what I was doing, especially if I was this confident about my relationship with Paul.

"Well, I'm glad you're taking the time to figure out exactly what you feel and that he's comfortable waiting for you to come to terms with everything," she told me and I could hear pride in her voice. I blushed slightly, but I was grateful that she understood.

We got up to walk to English and she grabbed my arm briefly as we were walking before she launched into more questions. "Okay, so what is he like? He's obviously attractive and makes you smile but what else? How do you know him, what do you guys do when you hang out?" I laughed at her 'attractive' comment, she was not wrong and I had obviously thought as much many, many times.

"He's, uh, sweet," I started telling her, "But he would be pissed if anyone else said that about him. He's also hilarious, and smart, and surprisingly easy to talk to. He has an issue with his temper, and impulse control, but he's working on it and has definitely improved." We had gotten to the classroom and walked in, sitting in our usual seat near the back. "I know him through Jacob, and we hang out with Jake, and some other kids from the rez. We don't do much, just hang out at Sam and Emily's house or go to the beach," I explained, and I wasn't lying, I was just omitting the fact that they were all wolves and we often sat around plotting ways to save my life from the vampire hunting me.

"Well, he sounds awesome, I would love to meet him, get to know him. When can I meet him?" She asked me, smiling, and I then realized I had been smiling the whole time I was talking about him. He made me smile, even when he wasn't around, just thinking about him made me happy. I could also see that I wasn't hiding this from Angela and I blushed, looking away trying, unsuccessfully, to hide my feelings. When I looked away I saw that the classroom was filling up, and I turned my head to see someone staring at me.

Mike was staring at me, and I could tell he had heard enough of the conversation, because I saw the look on his face. He probably thought I was talking about Jacob, and that bothered me, for some reason. I guess I didn't want people thinking I was seeing Jacob – not that I  _was_  seeing anyone, but if I was I wouldn't be seeing  _Jacob_ , I would be seeing –

No, I needed to stop with the inner babbling, it distracted me too much, which was now something I really couldn't afford. "Well, if you wanted, after studying and homework tonight I can see if Paul wants to come for dinner? I'm sure dad wouldn't mind meeting him considering I'll be spending a lot of time with him," I suggested, glancing at Mike to see his reaction. He still hadn't figured out that I wasn't interested and it irked me. Why couldn't he just understand, it was over a year later and I didn't want a relationship, no meant no and that was the end of the conversation.

I saw his face turn red, he looked angry, like he used to when I first started dating Edward. Good, maybe he would get it now. I smiled at Ange, happy that I could share this with her, happy I had a best friend in my normal life.

"Well," hedged Angela, "we could always study another night, I want to get to know him! Can you see if he'll meet us here after school? Like he did yesterday?" I nodded, I know we needed to study but I also knew that we could relax tonight, have a good time just hanging out. I nodded, and texted Paul to ask him if he wanted to hang out tonight with me and Angela.

 **Yes, of course!**  I laughed, and showed Angela the text just as class was starting. I was excited, other than Victoria wanting me dead and tracking me, everything in my life seemed to be looking up for me, falling into place. This day was going to be great, much better than I had thought.

* * *

"So," Mike was sitting beside me and I could already tell by his tone that I was probably going to get irritated by this conversation. I sighed and turned to face him, setting him with a determined, almost defiant expression.

He cleared his throat, "So," he began again. "Who is this Paul guy? Does he go to this school? Do I know him?" He asked, and I was more irritated with him because he sounded as though he believed he had a  _right_ to know all this about me, and there was a possessive tone in his voice.

"Paul is one of my friends from the rez. Why is that any of your business?" I asked him, trying to keep the attitude out of my voice, knowing that I need to keep my cool. I couldn't lose it, not at school, not about Paul.

Mike looked shocked at my tone, I could tell he hadn't expected me to be defensive, irritated at him. "Well I-I just wondered," he stuttered. I raised my eyebrows at him, showing that that obviously wasn't a sufficient enough answer for me. "I just wanted to know, we're friends, I thought it would be okay for me to ask…" His voice trailed off after seeing my expression, seeing how wrong he was to assume that my relationship is any of his business, not in the way he thinks it is, wants it to be.

"Mike, I have no problem talking about Paul, he's my friend and I care about him, and it doesn't bother me if anyone knows that. However, you and I both know that you aren't asking because we're friends, Mike," I told him, sounding tired and irritated.

"Well – I – you're" he spluttered, but I interrupted.

"Mike, don't, everyone knows that you've liked me since my first day here," I said, and I could see his face turning bright red, his mouth opening and closing like he wanted to say something but he couldn't find the words. I continued. "But Mike, I have not once shown any interest, and I'm sorry but this is apparently the only way I can get that fact through to you, I'm not trying to be mean. This is now the third person I have had a relationship with who you have decided is your business. First… Edward, then Jacob, now Paul. Yes, we're friends, and I have no issue telling you about my relationships, but please stop saying that it's because we're friends. You and I and everyone else know that it's because you have this weird belief that I'm yours or whatever," I finished my slight rant, and then I finally realized that all of our friends had stopped talking and were looking at us, enraptured by my speech or whatever.

Mike was just staring at me and I could tell he was going to try and deny what I was saying, tell me I was overreacting or something before someone else spoke up.

"Finally, we've literally been trying to say this to him for a year, but he kept brushing us off. Thank god," I heard Jessica saying and I looked to see her laughing at the look on Mike's face, and then Angela was laughing too, followed by everyone else at the table. Mike looked around, he looked embarrassed and angry but in all honesty, I wasn't upset I had said it, because Jess was right. It had gone on for too long and it wouldn't change anything if I didn't say anything. Mike shoved his chair back and stormed away from the table.

"Oh, don't worry about him Bella," Eric said, laughing and grabbing some of the fries Mike left on his tray. "He'll be fine, he just thought that you didn't know he liked you," he explained. I laughed at that, obviously I knew, it was one of the most obvious aspects about Mike, everyone knew. I took a bite of my sandwich and turned to join everyone else's conversation, I knew Mike would get over himself, eventually.

* * *

Angela and I were just leaving our last class to walk to my truck, and I was feeling surprisingly calm, much more so than I would have thought considering my best human friend was about to spend the evening with my werewolf… friend? I didn't know what to call him exactly. Either way, I didn't seem as worried about it as I thought I would have.

We got outside and I looked over to my truck, half expecting him not to be there, but there he was, smiling once I turned to look at him. I smiled back and Angela waved to him, laughing a little at how happy I probably looked. When we got to the truck he hugged me briefly, which was actually pretty nice, he was very warm and solid, he made me feel very safe. I turned to look at Angela and I saw she was smiling at someone behind me, and I knew before turning around that it was Ben.

"Hi," she said cheerfully, leaning down to kiss him quickly. I smiled, I couldn't help it, they were just so wonderfully perfect for each other, they made each other so happy, I loved them.

"Ben, hey, this is Paul," I said, smiling at him and gesturing to Paul. Paul smiled at him and held out his hand, which was adorable actually. I didn't know many teenagers that polite. Ben shook his hand, smiling warmly up at him. I assume Angela had told Ben who Paul was, which I was glad she had explained it because I still couldn't.

"Hey, I'm Ben, Angela's boyfriend," he told him.

Just then I heard someone make an annoyed sort-of huff behind me and I turned to see Mike walking away. I just laughed, quietly so he wouldn't hear, and so did Ange and Ben. We all knew he was being stupid.

"I feel like I'm missing something," Paul said, looking slightly confused. I wasn't sure if Jacob had thought about Mike at all since becoming a werewolf, so Paul may or may not recognize him, but either way, technically he shouldn't know who Mike is.

"Did Jake ever tell you about the time him and I went to the movies and another guy, Mike, came with us?" I asked him. He shook his head no. "Well, Mike has had a huge crush on me since I got here last year, and it's one of the most obvious things in school, everyone knows. But I've never been interested, and he just never seemed to get that. Him and Jake almost got into it at the movies," I explained, and Paul looked confused, probably because Jacob wasn't a naturally violent person. "That was the night Jake started getting sick, the mono," I saw comprehension flicker in his eyes.

"Yeah, Mike has always had this weird thing with Bella where he almost seems like he feels like he has a right to her, it's possessive and kinda weird. Bella shut him down today, it was great. He heard that you were hanging out with her and Ange tonight and he got weird and nosey about it and she told him that he needed to realize she wasn't interested and it wasn't any of his business who she's friends with and stuff," Ben gushed, and he was really excited about it, which was why I liked him so much. He was passionate, and it balanced Angela perfectly because she was so shy and quiet, like me.

"It was totally awesome," Ange said, smiling at me.

I could feel myself blushing and I looked to see Paul's reaction. He looked like he was torn between amusement and annoyance. I decided to change the subject quickly, because I knew Paul had a temper and I didn't think he would wolf out here but I thought I should just avoid it whenever possible.

"Thanks guys, it needed to be said. Ben, did you want to hang out with us tonight? We aren't really going to be doing much tonight and we would love it if you wanted to join us," I smiled at him.

"Thanks Bella, I would but I have an assignment due later this week and I need to work on it tonight, next time though?" He asked, and I nodded in response. "Okay, cool, I just wanted to come over and introduce myself and say bye to Angie anyways so," he reached up and kissed her on the cheek, "Have a good night you guys!" He walked over to his car and we got into my truck.

"Ben seems awesome," Paul said happily, and I could tell he truly meant it. He was right though, Ben was great and I was so happy that Angela had him.

Angela smiled, "Yeah, he really is," she replied. "Hey, Bella, I'll have to leave to help my brothers with something tonight around seven, is that alright?"

"Yeah of course," I told her, careful to keep my eyes on the road because I was worried that if I looked away I would look at Paul and then I would be too distracted to drive and I would crash the car. I took a deep breath and willed myself to relax.

* * *

"Angela, it's nice to see you again," Charlie was saying while we ate our pizza. I saw Angela smile, Charlie and her got along pretty well, which made sense, we were all pretty similar.

"Thank you, sir, it's nice to see you too. Thank you for letting me stay for dinner," she replied. Charlie nodded and smiled in response.

"So, Paul, you're friends with Jacob?" Charlie asked him. Charlie had just gotten home and I had only introduced them before we all sat down to eat.

"Yes sir, we know each other through Sam," he told Charlie, after swallowing a mouthful of pizza. I had laughed earlier because I had ordered him his own pizza, like I had needed to when me and Jake had spent time together, we always got our own and I had only eaten half of one. He had just seemed a little sheepish when I asked how much he wanted and he had told me he would pay for a whole pizza for himself. He looked adorable.

Shit, I was falling for him. Oh shit.

Charlie asking Paul how Sam was brought me out of my head. I don't think Paul or Charlie noticed but I could see Angela was paying attention, and I could also see by the look she was giving me that she knew I had been thinking about Paul.

I blushed and smiled at her, knowing she wouldn't judge me for it. I was constantly reminded of how grateful I was to be friends with Angela. She was the only person that I ever wanted to tell these things to, aside from Jake or Paul. She was the only human, that was for sure.

After dinner, Paul and I gave Ange a ride home and then went back to my place. We went up to my room and started talking.

"So, this Mike guy," Paul brought up, and I could tell it had been bothering him since I had told him.

"He's just a guy, I've been friends with him since I got here. He's harmless," I told him.

"Okay, but is he? Because he hasn't seemed to understand that you aren't interested, and I know you, I know you aren't someone to lead people on. You're honest, to the point of being blunt, so he knew but ignored it. That concerns me," I could tell he meant it.

"Why does that concern you?" I asked, curious about his reasoning.

"Well, people that ignore the feelings of other people can be dangerous, because it means they're selfish and more concerned about their own feelings. The amount of danger depends on how far they're willing to go to get what they want," he told me in all seriousness. I realized then just how mature Paul really was. It was one of the reasons I always forgot that he was only 16, aside from him being bigger than a fully-grown man.

"I don't think he would do anything, he just needed me to tell him outright that I was not interested-" I started explaining, before Paul cut me off.

"No Bella," he interrupted. He moved closer to me and I was suddenly very aware of how close he was – and how close I wanted him to be. I pushed that thought away. I needed to not get attached to anybody, not right now with Victoria threatening everyone, especially everyone I cared about.

"No, you need to stop looking at all the ways that you think it was your fault, or giving him the benefit of the doubt, because from the sounds of it everyone knew and he was just avoiding the truth because he assumed that if he persisted he would eventually get what he wanted," he said. "Maybe I should talk to him…" The last few words trailed off, like he was telling himself more than me.

"Paul," I interjected. "No, you don't need to speak to Mike. I don't… I don't think that would be a good idea," I told him truthfully.

"Why? Do you think I'll do something? Say something?" He asked, and I could tell he was a little hurt because he thought I didn't trust him, but didn't want to say anything about it.

"No no no, I'm not concerned about anything you might do!" I corrected him quickly. "No, Mike has been known to be… arrogant, especially around people he feels are… people he thinks he's better than in a sense, especially when they're younger than him. He was an ass to Jake, just because he's a year younger. He has this thing where he thinks making others look bad will make him look better," I explained. It was one of the many reasons I wasn't interested in Mike. He could be an ass.

"And what? You're scared he'll hurt my feelings?" He asked me with a laugh. I just looked at him, he knew that's not what I was worried about. Paul was a very self-assured person, he knew who he was and he wouldn't let anything someone like Mike said to him get to him. "No, you're afraid I'll lose my temper." It wasn't a question, it wasn't a guess. He knew.

"I'm sorry, it's not that I don't trust you, you know I trust you, completely. But he even got on Jake's nerves that night at the movies, he just, he gets under people's skin," I told him. I knew Jake had been easily bothered that night because the shift had amplified everything, it was bad timing, but I needed to keep Paul from talking to Mike.

"Okay, but you do realize what Imprinting on you has done for me? It has given me an anchor to keep my anger in check, a reason to stay human and calm. What if-" I started to interrupt him but he put his hand over my mouth to stop me and I closed my mouth. He didn't take his hand away. "Let me finish, please? What if I came to the school with you tomorrow morning, talked to Mike with you there? Lots of witnesses, you keeping me in check, I wouldn't lose my cool," he told me.

When he finished talking he took his hand away and I was left to try to take in what he had said to me. With his hand on my mouth I had been able to smell him, that comforting smell that made me melt and made it so I had a hard time concentrating.

I couldn't think, my brain wasn't functioning properly. I leaned forward and kissed him, hard, and he was warm and my hands went into his hair before my brain caught up with my body. I pulled away once I realized what I had done, putting my hand over my mouth.

He looked stunned, he hadn't even had time to react before I realized what I was doing. He looked at me and blinked, but made no other movement.

"Shit," I whispered. "I'm so sorry, I don't know what happened," I apologized. Part of me was berating myself, now I was allowing myself to get close, to give Victoria another way to get to me. But the other part of me was thrilled, soaring, cheering. But both parts were nervous. How would he react when he came to his senses? Would he be mad? Happy? Hopeful? Fuck, what did I just do?


	20. Chapter 20

_Okay. Paul. Focus._

_What the fuck just happened?_

_She just…_ kissed _me._

 _PAUL. Focus please. You need to say something. You know the way Bella is, she's probably panicking right now because you aren't saying anything or reacting in any way_.

I was trying to process everything, half of me was ecstatic, she had  _kissed_  me and it was everything I had wanted since the moment I had seen her. The other part of me – the rational part of me – was trying to make me think clearly. I knew I needed to listen to the rational part, stop focusing on myself and focus on Bella, on what I needed to do for her in this moment.

I shut my eyes for a few moments and the dark helped me concentrate on what I needed to do.

"Fuck,  _fuck_ , fuck," I heard Bella muttering, probably not even aware she was speaking.

I reached my hand out to place it against her cheek and raised my eyes to hers.

"Bella," I said, and I was relieved to hear that my voice was much calmer and steadier than I felt. "Bella, it's fine. It was just a kiss, it didn't have to mean more or less than you meant it to," I told her. Whether I was in love with her or not, the status of this relationship was dependent on her and I would be alright with whatever she wanted, whatever she needed. It was her call.

"I, uh, I don't know what… I don't know why…" She was struggling to say something, and I wasn't sure if it was because she didn't know what she was thinking, what she wanted it to mean or if it was because she didn't want to say something to upset me. Either way, I was alright, just as long as she was alright. I pulled her into a hug and she wrapped her arms around me.

"It's fine, we don't need to talk about it, not until you want to, if you ever want to," I told her. "But please, can you do one thing for me?"

"Maybe," she said cautiously, and I laughed. I figured she would hesitate. She was much smarter than I had first given her credit for.

"Please, let me talk to Mike. I promise, you can be there the whole time, I won't lose my temper, I'll be completely calm. If I feel like I'm going to lose my temper, I'll walk away," I reasoned. I felt her take in a deep breath and I could practically hear her weighing the options in her mind.

"Fine, tomorrow morning," she conceded. I smiled and pulled her in tighter for a moment. "So, I have to drive you home," she said, somewhat sadly.

"Uh, why? I was planning on staying the night and watching over you," I told her. "I mean, if you want me to go that's fine, too. It's your call."

"No, I would love for you to stay, but Charlie…" she trailed off.

I understood, Charlie wouldn't let me stay the night. "Don't worry about it, I'll go down and tell him Sam is coming to get me," I assured her. There was no point in her wasting gas if I'm just going to come back.

"He's going to question it when he doesn't see a car," she pointed out.

"No problem," I smiled. "Just lay down, pretend to sleep. I'll be back in five, ten minutes tops. Jake is outside right now," I told her, hoping she wouldn't be worried about being alone. I think I was more concerned with her safety than she was though. She layed down and I pulled the blankets around her. I leaned down, close to her face and stared in her eyes for a moment. I knew I would only be a few minutes but I still hated leaving her.

I smiled and turned around, stopping myself from kissing her. I wanted to do it so badly but it wasn't my choice.

"Chief Swan, I'm gonna get going," I told Charlie once I had walked downstairs. He shut the TV off and walked over to me.

"How are you getting home, is Bella driving you?" He asked me.

"No, sir, she fell asleep a few minutes ago, I know she doesn't sleep much so I didn't want to wake her. Sam is going to come get me," I told him.

"Well, thank you for that, you're right. She doesn't sleep much," he admitted, and I could hear the concern and caring in his voice. "Paul, you seem to be a good kid, you're welcome anytime," he held his hand out and I shook it, smiling.

"Thank you, sir, that's very kind of you to say," I nodded to him and then walked out of the house.

A minute later, Sam's car pulled up in front of the house. This had always been the plan, if Bella had wanted me to stay. I got in and we drove down the street before circling back. He parked the car just out of sight of Bella's house.

I was about to get out before I turned back to Sam. "She kissed me," I told him, and I could hear the emotion in my voice, the emotion I had been holding back earlier when I was trying to calm Bella down. "Sam, she kissed me, but then she freaked out, what do I do? I love her Sam, I just - I don't know if she loves me…"

Sam just gave me a knowing look. "Paul, you know that you will be there for her no matter what, and we all know that whatever she needs you to be, you'll be grateful to be that person. It's the best gift in the world to be able to see that person breathe, smile, laugh,  _live_ ," he told me.

"I know, I know. Of course I know. I'm not saying I won't be there for her if she doesn't feel like that, she is everything, I will give her whatever she needs. I just… I love her Sam. And I think… I think she's starting to feel something for me, but I also think she's scared to feel anything for anyone because of what he did to her," I told him. I knew he was just letting me get everything that I needed out. "And we don't even  _know_  what he did, except abandon her, leaving her heart and soul completely shattered!" I practically shouted the last bit.

It still made me angry, thinking about Cullen just leaving her alone and then us finding her in the fucking forest. I took a deep breath and thought about Bella, seeing her smile at me. I calmed down in record time.

"Are you okay now?" Sam asked me. I nodded, thanked him for the pretend ride home, and then got out and jogged over to her window.

"Hey Jake, thank you," I said into the trees, and then jumped up to the already opened window.

She was sitting up in bed, waiting for me and smiling. She had turned all the lights off, probably for when Charlie had come up to say goodnight. I listened and I could hear him in his room, starting to fall asleep already.

"You can go to sleep, if you want," I told her, moving over to the rocking chair in the corner. I had only taken one step before her voice stopped me.

"You can – you can lay here with me. If you want, I mean. I wouldn't mind," I could hear the nervousness, how unsure she was with her words. But it seemed more like she was more unsure with how I would take the words than anything. She knew what she wanted, but she didn't know what  _I_  wanted.

I didn't respond, I just walked over to the bed and climbed in beside her, under the blankets that she held up for me. I put my arm under her and she rested her head on my shoulder. Her heart was beating like crazy.

"Are you okay?" I was concerned, I didn't want her to be uncomfortable with my being here, I didn't have to be here at all if she didn't want me to be.

"I'm fine, I just… I haven't had anyone here while I slept in a while… and it's nice, I feel very safe around you, all the time," she said it like she was admitting some great secret. I smiled though, I was glad I made her feel safe, because that was all I wanted, I wanted her to be safe and happy, preferably with me, but mainly safe and happy in general.

"Bella, it doesn't have to mean anything if you don't want it to, I am here  _for you_ , for whatever you need me to be here for. I only want what  _you_  want," I promised her. She looked up at me, her eyes big and bright and I could see that she believed me.

"I know," was all she said, and then she fell silent. I stayed silent, too, I knew she needed sleep. But of course, she wouldn't do that, not when it was what she needed.

"Paul," she whispered. I sighed, I would talk to her if she wanted, obviously. "Paul, I'm scared," she said. That honestly surprised me, not that she was scared, but that she admitted it to me.

"We're going to protect you, Bells, we won't let her hurt you," I reassured her, pulling her a little tighter against me.

"No, I'm not afraid of Victoria, no," she dismissed the idea, as though it was ridiculous to be scared of a vampire trying to kill you. She was pulled back to look at me and I don't know what my expression told her. "I know you'll protect me, I know that what happens will happen. No, I'm scared of something else," she said in barely a whisper. Of course I could hear her, but it spoke volumes to me, more than if she had yelled. Bella didn't get scared easily, not to this level, this extent.

"Then… what?" I asked, now completely confused. I didn't know what else there was to be afraid of.

"Well, um, you…" I froze, of course she was scared of me. I was a monster, I turned into a giant wolf whenever I got too angry or if I had to protect people,  _fight_  people. I started to pull away from her but she grabbed me and held me back. "No, I don't mean I'm scared  _of_  you, I'm scared of what you might mean… to me. I'm scared of getting close to you and then losing you. Because then it will hurt. And you have no idea what that pain will do to me," I could hear the tears she was holding back and I knew it took everything she had to tell me this.

"Bella, I'm not going anywhere, you aren't going to lose me," I promised her.

"You don't know that, you can't promise me anything because you don't what's going to happen when Victoria finally comes for me. That's why I won't… admit any feelings… that I may or may not have towards you…" she told me very, very slowly.

I took in what she was saying. She had feelings for me. I had hoped, but never enough because it had always been a long shot, especially after Cullen. None of us thought she would ever move on enough to be with someone else. Of course, Jacob had thought about it, and then later I had, too, but they were just futures and possibilities that we thought about, we never thought it would really happen. They were just dreams.

"You-you-what?" For once, I was at a loss for words. That was a first.

"I think I love you," she told me, without hesitation, and she sounded… sure. "Or, at least, I'm beginning to." I couldn't figure out what to say, it felt like a dream.

"Bella, you don't have to say this, not if you don't mean it or aren't sure," I told her, worried she was saying it for all the wrong reasons. Even if she  _thought_  they were the right reasons.

"Paul? Shut up," she told me, laughing. I laughed too, it just didn't feel real. "I've been arguing with myself over this for a while now, I know I feel something for you, something beyond friendship. I don't know exactly what it is but I know it's something and I don't want to fight anymore. What's the point when I know you feel the same."

I kissed her forehead and smiled. I knew it was the Imprint, it generally went this way. That's why the theory that Imprinting is the wolf finding the best person to continue the genetic line was so popular in the packs.

"So, Sam and I have been thinking," I started with her, unsure of how she would feel about what I was about to ask her. "And because we want to keep a constant eye on you, I wanted to know if you would be okay with something. It's completely up to you," I assured her, because it was her decision.

"What is it?"

"Well, we were thinking that I could transfer schools, go to Forks instead of the whole 'homeschooling' thing. And I could be in all the same classes as you because I've finished all my eleventh-grade exams. I'm at the same level as you," I told her, and I couldn't keep the pride out of my voice because I was ahead in my school work.

"I don't see why not," she told me, and I could hear the smile in her voice. I was relieved. I would get Sam to get the paperwork for me for when I went to the school tomorrow morning. She finally decided that she could sleep now, and I kissed her forehead before falling asleep after her.

* * *

"Okay, your dad is gone," I told Bella, and we both went downstairs. Bella made us both some french toast and bacon and eggs, and I was given most of it and when we had finished everything I grabbed Bella's bag. We left the house and while she was locking the door behind us, I walked over to the driver's side of the truck and got in. I could tell she wanted to argue, she had even opened her mouth, but she closed it and without a word went to the passenger door and got in the truck.

"Wow, I'm surprised you didn't argue with-" I had started joking before I felt Bella's lips against mine, and for a moment my eyes widened in surprise before I closed my eyes and kissed her back, one of my hands in her hair and the other on her back. She had jumped onto me so that she was straddling me and had one hand on the back of my neck and the other was gently pulling at my short hair.

At first it was just a gentle kiss, deep but gentle, until she opened her mouth and I felt her tongue against my lip and so I opened my mouth, pulling her a little closer to me. She moaned quietly but  _fuck_  it took a lot of self-control to not move my hands. After a few minutes of making out she broke off the kiss, and we were both breathing heavily and she leaned her forehead against mine.

"Well, that was… nice," I eventually got out after thirty seconds of trying to catch my breath. I smiled when she huffed out a laugh and gave me another quick kiss before moving back to her seat.

"I mean, it wasn't an accident that time," she joked. "I just, uh, well I wanted to see what that was like," she admitted once I had started the truck and started driving to school. Sam would be there, with the papers for me to enroll, signed by my dad.

"And?" I prodded, hoping she didn't think it was complete shit.

"And,  _wow_  it was-it was good," she smiled, and it was a big, bright Bella smile that I absolutely loved.

"Good as in 'We should do this more often?' Or 'I'm glad I did it but only once?'" I asked, slightly worried, because I would handle it but if that didn't happen again I would be devastated.

"Oh, no, I told you Im beginning to fall in love with you, and I know you love me, so like, we're basically dating, there will definitely be more of this going on," she told me matter-of-factly. I laughed and it was good we were at the school by now because if I had to drive I would probably have been so fucking happy and laughing so much I would have crashed the car.

I turned to see her smiling at me, and I leaned over to kiss her before getting out of the truck. She got out too and we both saw Sam walking towards us, and I heard Angela telling Ben and all of Bella's friends to come meet me.

 _Good,_ I thought,  _I could talk to Mike now, in front of everyone_.

I grabbed Bella's hand and she squeezed it, and we leaned against the back of her truck waiting for Sam.

"Hey, so really quickly before your friends get over here, here are the transcripts and everything to enroll here, they're all signed by your father and you just have to hand them in, you should be in all the same classes as Bella," Sam told us in a hushed whisper so that nobody else heard, just in case they questioned why someone who isn't my dad was bringing me these.

"Thanks Sam, you should probably stay for a few minutes," I told him, glancing at Mike walking towards us and I guess he saw our hands because he looked murderous. Sam turned and saw Mike's face and nodded, knowing that I was going to say something. Obviously, because, y'know, Bella was my  _girlfriend_  and I needed to make sure he respected that.

I was still internally freaking out and I knew I wouldn't lose control, I was too fucking happy that Bella had said we're dating. I turned and smiled at her and she smiled at me. I kissed her cheek and felt her blush under my lips.

"Finally, god, I've been waiting since Bella first talked about you!"

"Hi Ange, how are you?" I asked, hugging her quickly and laughing at her comment. "Hey Ben," I smiled at him and he smiled back.

"I'm so good now, you two are adorable," Angela told us, directing the last bit more to Bella, who started blushing even more. God, she was beautiful.

I heard someone scoff, and didn't need to look to see it was Mike. I did anyways, grinning broadly at him and holding out my hand.

"You must be Mike," I greeted him. He took my hand to shake it and seemed to be trying to crush my hand, but it obviously did nothing. I felt my grin getting bigger. He let go.

"So, I just wanted to introduce myself, I'm Paul, this is my brother Sam," they didn't need to know the truth, it wasn't that far off. I could see them looking at us both, and we were probably pretty intimidiating, what with us being over 6 feet tall. I continued, "and I just wanted to make things very clear to you Michael. Bella does not have to date anyone she doesn't want to, you are not entitled just because you're older, you think you're better, whatever delusions you're under. She can be with whomever she chooses or nobody if that is her choice," I said to him and he began to try to interrupt, the anger evident in his expression. I held up my hand to silence him and took a step closer to him.

"Don't lie, Mike, everyone here knows how you feel about Bella, my other brother Jacob told me all about your outing to the movies. You're possessive, and Bella isn't a possession, she's a person, and really appreciates your friendship. But that's it, so please, do everyone a favour and get over it. I know it's hard, I mean she's Bella, she's perfect, but she isn't interested," I finished.

Mike looked like he was at a loss for words, and he looked beyond pissed and embarrassed as hell. He opened his mouth to say something but then I guess he couldn't find the right words because his fist came up and connected with my face.

I heard his knuckles connect, and it didn't have any effect on me at all, but I winced when I saw his face.

"What the fuck man! I think you broke my hand!" Mike was screaming at me, cradling his right hand with his left.

I could hear Sam roaring with laughter behind me, and I couldn't help but crack an amused smirk. I turned as Sam patted my shoulder and left, possibly to go tell the pack, they would find that hilarious. I saw Bella's face and, shit, she looked furious. I really hope I hadn't fucked up already.


	21. Chapter 21

I was staring at Mike, ready to punch him back. What the hell! Who did he think he was punching Paul like that. I was so angry I couldn't hear anything, until Paul turned around and touched my arm, I heard his voice coming through, calming me down enough to become aware of my surroundings again.

"… so sorry, I didn't mean for him to hurt his hand, I swear, I would have moved if I had been expecting it," I heard Paul practically pleading with me. He thought I was mad at  _him_ , which made no sense to me.

I touched his face where Mike had hit him, and I knew it wouldn't have hurt Paul at all but I was still concerned.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, ignoring Mike screaming and Jessica fussing over him and Angela berating Mike for hitting Paul. I got up on my tiptoes and kissed his jawline where Mike's hand had connected.

"Well, I was good before but I'm even better now," he smiled, kissing me quickly. I gave him a quick smile before letting go of his hand. He leaned against the back of the truck again, his arms crossed over his chest and a smirk on his face. He knew the look on my face, and he knew I was about to rip Mike a new one.

"I have a couple things to say to you Mike," I told him, keeping my voice as calm and steady as I could. Angela grabbed Ben and they went to stand with Paul. Mike looked surprised, and I couldn't tell if he thought I was going to be concerned about him or whatever. But from the look on his face after what I said next, he was not expecting what I said.

"First things first, everything Paul said? Absolutely correct, and much friendlier than you deserved, to be honest. Secondly, What the actual  _fuck_  is wrong with you? No, don't actually answer me right now. You have no idea how angry I am and how much willpower it is taking for me not to kick the shit out of you," I warned him when he opened his mouth to respond. "What the hell made you think that punching my boyfriend in the face was going to end well. Like what would that accomplish? You would punch him and then I would fall madly in love with you? And look at him!"

Mike did that and scowled. I turned and couldn't help but be momentarily stunned that such a beautiful human being was my boyfriend, well I mean, more than a boyfriend but for simplicity's sake, my boyfriend.  _Bella, the task at hand?_  Shit right, I turned back around to face Mike.

"He is 16 years old, almost 17, and is already way bigger than you, what the hell did you think was going to happen? You're an idiot Mike, and I don't feel bad that you hurt yourself, this is completely on you. Go to the nurse," I finished tersely.

"Bella, listen-"

"I don't want to listen to you, Mike, go to the nurse," I turned away from him and walked over to my truck. I heard Mike try to talk to me again but I also saw the look Paul gave him when he didn't think I was watching and then I heard Mike cut off what he was saying.

"Sorry, I know this probably isn't the best first day," I said to Paul.

"Wait, first day?" Ben asked. "As in, he's transferring here?" He looked thrilled, I guess Angela had told Ben all about Paul.

"Yeah, I'm transferring, I got the papers all right here, and I'll be in all of Bella's classes," Paul said, and he looked so happy. He was adorable, and a much goofier and happier person now that he wasn't so surly around me.

"But, Bella just said you're 16," Angela pointed out.

"Yeah, well, Paul was home schooled and has already finished all the grade 11 work and tests. He's pretty smart," I bragged a little, it was another reason I was proud to be dating him. "Speaking of transferring, we need to get you to the office to give them these forms," I told him, taking his hand.

"See you in first period!" Angela called after us and I waved back.

I had decided that this relationship would be different than my relationship with Edward, that I would try to be more independent outside of the relationship, not shut my friends out. I realized now how much I had missed them and how pleased I was to have them be a large part of my life again and how much I didn't want to depend solely on someone else for my happiness.

I think Paul got that, he understood how much I cared about my friends and I think he knew how much my relationship with Edward had revolved around him and excluded everyone else that I cared about. Without me even having to tell him, he knew how important this was to me, to stay close to my friends. So, I think that's why he didn't seem to mind that he didn't sit beside me in most of the classes. There was 1 class where I didn't have a seat partner before lunch, and another one after lunch as well, because I had sat beside Edward in those classes and nobody had moved to sit beside me, like in the others. Paul could sit with me in those ones and we would be perfectly content.

But the whole 'happiness in myself' thing didn't stop me from glancing at him every chance I got and seeing that he was still perfect. Not only was he handsome and tall, he was also friendly to the people he sat by, introducing himself and smiling at them and actually trying to be a nice person. I couldn't help but think about Edward and how he had distanced himself from people in this school. Not that I didn't understand, I did. He needed to for him and his family to live there and the others had instinctively and unconsciously avoided him because they were predators.

But Paul being  _so_  different from Edward was actually such a relief. Because I may have loved Edward, there may always be a part of me that would, but I didn't want to repeat that relationship ever again.

Lunch couldn't come soon enough, I really wanted to see how well he got along with everyone else. I knew him and Angela were great, they liked each other a lot, and Ben seemed to like him as well, but I wanted to know what he thought of everyone else. And I mean, I wanted to sit beside him and talk to him again. So, when the bell rang for lunch I couldn't get over to him fast enough, and I could see that he felt the same with our matching smiles.

Automatically my hand slipped into his and he didn't seem to notice, or if he did he didn't comment. I was glad he was okay with it because his hand was wonderfully warm and my hand felt comfortable in his. I looked at him again and couldn't believe my luck. Again. He was just… awesome. I knew I sounded like a love-struck teenager, but let's be honest, I was.

"So, how has your first day at Forks High School been?" I asked him, practically bouncing while I walked. "Is it as exciting as wolf-stuff?" I joked, hoping I could make him laugh.

I succeeded and I was so happy to hear his laugh, it was honestly one of my favourite sounds. "I like being here, especially because it means I know that you're safe at all times. I just feel better knowing that you're okay," he told me seriously. I squeezed his hand and smiled at him. We were just outside the cafeteria doors when he stopped me and faced me.

"Bella, if you ever feel like I'm around you too much, tell me, okay? I want nothing more than I want your happiness and for you to be comfortable around me. If this feels like too much-" His voice was cut off when I got up on my very tip toes (like,  _just barely reached_ ) and pulled his shirt down so our lips met and I kissed him. It was nice, soft, warm. It was quick and sweet and perfect and when I pulled away he had this blissful, dreamy look on his face that was absolutely perfect.

I smiled at him, pretty sure I had the same dreamy look on my face too. "Paul, I want you here, I like being near you. And if I want a night off, I'll let you know, but for now, I'm happy, okay?" I assured him. I didn't want him to think I was just going to get tired of him.

We walked into the cafeteria, hand in hand, and went over to get some food. A few people stared, probably because I had, until recently, been known as the crazy girl who couldn't get over her boyfriend leaving. I ignored the staring, it didn't actually bother me all that much. Paul pretended not to notice, too, which was nice because I knew he noticed it more than I did, he could probably hear people talking about.

However, I did see a couple girls staring at Paul and turning to their friends and whispering and giggling. The majority of me, the logical side, wasn't bothered because I knew that Paul wouldn't care. He wasn't the type to ditch someone for someone else, and the Imprint meant he cared about me more than anything else in his life. But, there was a small part of me that was jealous.

Paul was an attractive guy, he was tall and well-built and looked much older than 16 and he was in all senior classes. He was also the new kid, and I knew how much attention new kids got in this school. I just needed to push down my jealousy and keep telling myself how ridiculous I was being. I trusted Paul, more than I trusted anyone else, outside of Jacob and the rest of the pack but, it was a different trust. I trusted the pack with my life, with protecting me and those that I loved, including themselves. I trusted Jacob as my best friend. But I trusted Paul to be the person I could possibly fall in love with again, and that was something I never thought would happen. So I would just keep trusting him and everything would be fine.

After we got our food we went over to my regular table where Ange and Ben had saved us seats. I let Paul choose who he sat beside, giving him the opportunity to choose Angela if he didn't want to sit beside Eric. But he pulled out the chair beside Angela for me to sit in and he sat beside Eric, smiling at him and shaking his hand, introducing himself before I had the chance.

"Oh gosh, that was so cute, what a gentleman!" Angela whispered, and I felt my face heat up because I knew that Paul could hear her. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye and had to stop myself from laughing at the slightest blush covering his cheeks.

"Yeah, he's always like that," I whispered, Angela smiled approvingly. I turned to the table, "Hey guys, for those of you that don't know or haven't met him, this is Paul Lahote. He lives on the rez and he transferred here this morning," I told them. Paul waved at them all and said hi to the table before getting started on his pizza. He had half of one there, to which I smirked. It would always amuse me how much the boys ate.

"So, Paul," I heard Lauren say, and I inwardly groaned. Her nasally voice always grated on my last nerve, she had never liked me and I didn't think this could be good. "How do you know Bella?" She asked him, trying to sound seductive and failing miserably. My jealousy flared up, and I had to take a drink and eat something to stop myself from saying or doing anything. I had forgotten her and Tyler weren't together anymore and she was single.

"Well," Paul said, swallowing the last bite of his second piece of pizza, picking up the third. "Bella and I have mutual friends, Jacob Black and Sam Uley. We met through them, which I'm very lucky for," he smiled at me and I smiled back at him.

"Yes, well, aren't we all lucky to have met Bella," she responded, obviously not agreeing. She looked pissed that Paul hadn't been interested in her. Couldn't blame him, she was mean and he wasn't stupid.

"You don't like Bella very much," he said calmly, and it was not a question.

Angela and I choked on our drinks that we had just taken, everyone else just stared at him, too stunned for words. Nobody had ever really said anything to Lauren about her just being a giant bitch or about her not liking me, and I hadn't minded, I just avoided her. Paul just took a bite of his pizza, not seeming fazed by any of our reactions, except to rub my back to make sure I wasn't  _actually_  choking.

"Ex-exc _use_  me?" Lauren eventually answered, clearly thrown by this direct observation. It's not that we all didn't know, it's that nobody ever said anything,  _especially_  to Lauren. I glanced at Paul and saw that he was giving her an even, steady look, just waiting for an actual answer. I snorted, and then tried to turn it into another cough. I don't think I was successful, but it did look like Paul was trying not to laugh now.

"I never said-" Lauren began but Paul interrupted.

"I didn't ask if you  _said_  you didn't like her, just stated that you didn't. It's pretty obvious," he pointed out, because he was right, everyone knew. He shrugged and, because he had finished the pizza by now, he started on the fruit. I laughed quietly, leaning into him slightly.

"Whatever, just because you _like_  her…" I heard her mutter, and I know she meant for it to embarrass us, she hadn't been in the cafeteria when we had walked in holding hands, hadn't really seen us interacting in the way couples tend to. She thought she was making things awkward between us. Which was stupid because to literally everyone it was obvious we were dating.

"Well, I sure hope he likes me," I said loud enough for everyone to hear, and I guess it was funny to Paul because he also almost choked on his soda, but from laughter instead of shock. Lauren just glared at me. "I mean, it would be really awkward if my boyfriend didn't like me, right?"

Everyone else at the table laughed, and Lauren looked stunned. She hadn't been expecting me to ever move on, she had probably enjoyed being the center of attention again for the while that I was… out of it. And not that I enjoyed the attention but I tended to be nicer than her, and so people tended to talk to me more.

Lauren got up and stormed out of the cafeteria then, making me snort again. Paul leaned over and kissed my cheek and then started talking to Eric and Ben about some video game that I didn't know anything about. I started talking to Angela and Jessica about classes and it was nice. Sitting here, talking to my friends about normal things, with a boy that I cared about and that cared about me and no worries about if he really felt the way he said he did. I could definitely get used to this, even if I knew it probably wouldn't last.

Not until Victoria was gone.


	22. Chapter 22

Paul and I had been dating for week, and it had been a wonderful week. I hadn't told Charlie that we were dating, just that Paul had transferred schools and he was over every night – when we weren't at Emily's – because I was helping him catch up on the work we had done this semester. Charlie probably knew there was more going on but he also knew that I wasn't ready to tell him yet so he didn't push it, and he probably didn't want to talk to me about boys either. He also knew Paul and I weren't doing anything disrespectful or inappropriate so there wasn't really any real need.

And we truthfully weren't doing anything, I wanted to wait to get physically serious until after the showdown with Victoria happened. He had slept over a couple other times but not every night, he still had to do pack things and be around his dad a bit.

School had just ended for the day and we were on our way to Emily and Sam's for the pack meeting. I was driving the truck, much to the chagrin of Paul – he hated when I drove. He said it was because I drove too slowly but I knew it was because I wouldn't let him touch me at all or I would get too distracted and crash the car. He didn't like when he couldn't hold my hand or touch my face and it made him pout. It was adorable and made me laugh at him.

"So," I broke the pouty silence, smirking slightly at Paul being a grumpy baby. "What is this pack meeting about? Do you know or is it nothing specific?" I asked him, knowing he would probably be distracted long enough to not be grumpy the rest of the ride to Emily's place.

I was right, his entire body language changed. "We're just going over the plan one more time," he told me, sitting up straighter and getting this seriousness that he always had when talking about wolf business. That was another thing that I admired about him, he was dedicated to his brothers and he took his role in the pack very seriously.

"We've been over the plan a million times, why do we need to keep going over it?" I asked. I knew I sounded a little whiney but I hated going over the plan over and over because it made me think about everything that could go wrong, all the ways everyone could get hurt. Talking about it this much made it seem more real and made me feel sick. I was just so worried about everyone.

"That's all I can tell you," he said, sounding regretful. I knew he knew more, and I wanted to push but I knew he wasn't telling me because he wasn't allowed to.

"Fine, I'll just wait," I sighed, resigned to the fact that I was always the last one to know. I wasn't angry at anyone about it, they couldn't control it. I'm sure that if Sam could keep some things from the pack, he would. They all probably missed their privacy.

We finally arrived at the meeting, walking into the kitchen that was crowded with overgrown teenage boys, Emily and Sam. We sat down in our usual seats, me between Jacob and Paul. Jake leaned into my shoulder and smiled at me before turning back to Sam, waiting for him to begin.

"Okay, let's go over this again, from the beginning – pretend we've never talked about it before," Sam told us, his demeanor was serious and business-like.

"I will go to the big clearing so that we aren't near anyone else. I will go alone. You guys will wait for Victoria to get close and then surround the clearing. I'll tell her I'm there for her to finish it because I don't want anyone else to get hurt," I told him, not even needing to think about what I'm saying because I thought about it so much.

"Jacob, Jared, Embry, and I will then corner her and attack her, while Jacob and Paul protect Bella in case anything were to happen and she gets away from us," Sam finished.

"Sam, this is a very straight forward, simple plan, that's what is so great about it. Victoria will be expecting some huge, elaborate trap, she won't be expecting the obvious," I told him. "So why do we keep going over it? Everyone knows it by heart," I finished.

"I want to do it this weekend," he told me, bluntly.

I felt my breathing stop and my heart sped up. Part of me was relieved, whatever would happen would finally happen, and soon. I had felt like my life was on pause, like I was just stalling the inevitable. But the other part of me had enjoyed the pause, the chance to live as normal a life as I possibly could.

I took a deep breath and straightened my shoulders. "Alright, time to get this over with," I tried to sound braver than I felt. I looked around the room at the faces of these people that I loved. "You guys don't have to do this for me, you know that right? I am not your responsibility, I don't want any of you to be hurt because of me," I told them for what felt like the hundredth time.

"Bella," Embry surprised me by being the one to answer me first, it was usually Jacob or Paul telling me to shut up. "How long will it take for you realize that you're our family?"

"I know Paul Imprinted on me and Jacob is my best friend, but-"

"But nothing, Bella! That is exactly why you're our family, and why should that diminish anything? Yes, those things brought you to us, but we want you to stay because of  _you_. We think you're awesome, we all love you for different reasons but we  _do_  love you. And I liked you before the pack! We used to hang out and eat pizza and goof off and you've been my friend since then. So please," he practically begged, "have a little more faith in us."

I blinked at him, before finally regaining my senses. Holy shit, I don't think I've ever heard Embry say that much at once. Then I heard Jacob and Paul snickering and I covered my mouth. Fuck, I had said that out loud. I really needed to get that under control.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't realize I had said that out loud!" I apologized, I felt terrible because I didn't want him to think I didn't appreciate everything he had said.

"She does that," Paul told everyone, still laughing. I smacked him, smirking slightly.

"I hear you though, and that means so much to me, thank you," I told him. "You guys are my family, and I wouldn't trade any of you for anything, you're the best brothers I could have ever asked for," I told all of them.

"Bella, you're a great little sister! And anyways, you're just an excuse to fight this vampire, we would still have gone after her," Jared told me, cocky grin on his face. I laughed, feeling better about this. I knew they would have my back, I had just been constantly afraid of them getting hurt just for me, but I guess they all knew the risks and were willing to help me. But also help the people of Forks and the reservation.

"So, that's settled," Sam said. We all nodded. "Alright, Bella, I'll ask Harry to take your dad away from town for the weekend, that way you have one less thing to be concerned about," he told me. I smiled, grateful to him.

After that we all had dinner, which was delicious as Emily's food always was. Sitting at the table with everyone I felt more at ease than I had for a while. I was, of course, still worried about everyone, but I knew this was a good plan and we would go through with it. It had to happen some time and I was glad I had these guys with me. They were the best chance I had and the only people I wanted with me.

* * *

"So Bella, what are you up to this weekend?" Charlie asked me over dinner the next day. I had decided to eat dinner with him tonight because if something went wrong this weekend I wouldn't get the opportunity again. The last time I was in a life-threatening situation with Victoria I hadn't had a chance to spend time with my dad before-hand and I wanted this.

"Probably just homework and spending time with Jacob and Paul and the boys, nothing special," I told him. Technically it wasn't a lie. "What about you?" I asked, trying to sound offhand and casual, like I didn't know he would have plans.

"Harry asked if I wanted to go away to go fishing for the weekend," he told me, sounding excited. "As long as you don't mind being alone," he added.

"Dad, go fishing with Harry, I'm probably going to be on the rez a lot of the time anyways," I told him, smiling. He nodded, smiling at me a bit before eating more of his food in silence.

When dinner was done he brought our dishes over to the sink and rinsed them out. I began washing them when he was done, expecting him to go into the living room and watch something on TV – that was our usual routine. But he stayed behind and I could tell he wanted to talk to me about something, probably Paul. Especially now that he would be gone all weekend.

"So, Paul's a nice kid," he said awkwardly. I nodded but didn't say anything else, wanting him to continue this. "He seems to like you quite a bit." I could tell he was trying to get me to fill in the blanks for him and this was not going to get any less awkward for either of us. I decided to just get it out there.

"Yes dad, we're dating," I told him what he was trying to get out of me, not looking at him and continuing to wash the dishes. I wasn't uncomfortable with Charlie knowing this, however, we didn't talk about relationships and these things and that was what made this uncomfortable.

"Okay," he said and then paused, seeming unsure of how to continue. "Okay then, well, that's-is this recent?" He asked.

"Yes, it's only been a week but I've been friends with him for a little while now," I told him, exaggerating slightly. I wouldn't be able to properly explain my relationship with Paul to Charlie. I don't even know if I could explain it to myself.

"Alright then. Well, I like him, he seems like a smart kid,  _respectful_ ," he stressed the last word and I knew where he was getting at while also trying to avoid the conversation.

"He is very respectful," was all I said and we both knew where I was getting at with it. No, we hadn't had sex or done anything else that was equally inappropriate in his house, or at all.

"Okay then, good," he finished the conversation, somewhat awkward but he seemed pleased with the result. He left to go to the living room and watch a baseball game while I finished up the dishes and then I went upstairs to work on homework.

I heard a knock on the door, Charlie answered it, and I heard Paul coming up the stairs after saying hi to Charlie, asking him how he was. He came in the room, leaving the door open – another sign of respect to Charlie. He sat down on the bed beside me, kissed my temple, and pulled out his homework.

After we had both finished the homework we had, we sat across from each other and just talked. At first about school stuff and pack stuff but then I turned it to more serious, personal things. I had been thinking for the past couple days and decided that we needed to seriously talk about our relationship and what it was and where it was possibly going.

"Can we talk about… this?" I asked him, pointing at him and myself, hoping he got what I was trying to ask.

"Yeah, of course!" He nodded, smiling at me. Him being so relaxed about it made me feel better, less stressed out. I don't know why I was so nervous about this, Paul was great, he wouldn't get upset at me for anything.

"Okay, so, I get the whole Imprint thing, but I was kind of wondering if that meant you had to date me, like if you felt a need to," I said, somewhat awkwardly. I was a little concerned about the answer. I didn't want him to feel forced into this.

"Not really, I want to date you though, as long as you want to," he told me. "Think of it this way: you know when people say they just want the person they love to be happy, no matter what?" I nodded. "Okay, it's  _actually_  like that. It's awesome that you want to date me, that you feel that way about me, but if you didn't I would accept that and be whatever you needed from me, and I would be happy about it because it would mean that you were happy. It's all I want, your happiness," he finished.

I took that in for a moment, wondering how I was going to follow that. "Okay, so, you love me? Like actually  _love_  me?" I asked.

"Yes, I do," he answered. His answer actually didn't make me as uncomfortable as I thought it would have. I loved him, but not in the same way he loved me, not yet anyways. I'm sure it would become that.

"And you're okay that I'm not there yet? I love you, but I'm not  _in love_  with you. I love you in a way I've never loved anyone but I don't think I love you the way you love me yet," I rambled and forced myself to stop talking.

"I know that, Bella, we've only been together for a week, I don't expect you to love me. I don't ever  _expect_  you to feel anything for me just because of the way I feel for you. I just want you to always tell me how you feel, that's all I ask," he told me. I was very happy about that, happy that he understood and accepted the way I was feeling, that he probably always would.

"Okay, thank you," I smiled at him, feeling relieved to finally have talked to him about this. "So, you're okay with me wanting to take this slowly just to see how I feel?" I clarified, just needing to be sure with everything. I didn't think he would be opposed to it but I didn't want to get too far into this relationship before being completely sure.

"Definitely, I want you to be comfortable and sure of everything, I promise," he assured me, smiling at me and taking my hand. I smiled back at him and leaned forward to kiss him. It wasn't a long kiss but it was nice, perfect after the serious conversation we had just had.

Paul moved to sit beside me so that I could cuddle up against his side, his arm around me, and we were quiet for a bit. I was thinking about something else now, weighing whether or not I wanted to talk about it.

"He left me," I blurted out, without any context. "In the woods, Edward left me out there," I clarified. I realized I wanted to talk about it, and not just to anyone but to Paul. I wanted him to know.

He tightened his grip on me comfortingly, and I knew he didn't know what to say to it, or maybe he wanted me to just get it out, realized I needed to. So, I kept talking.

"On my birthday, his family had a birthday party for me, with presents and everything that I didn't want, but they were just trying to be nice. And I got a paper cut… Jasper was the newest one of their family and their way of life, he had the hardest time controlling himself. I didn't blame him, it wasn't his fault what he was, it wasn't any of their faults," I explained, not just to him but to both of us. I had avoided thinking about them so much that this felt good, getting it all out.

I looked over at him when he didn't respond, he looked horrified – which I had expected, but he also looked… amazed? Surprised? I couldn't tell, but I didn't understand the look either way.

"What?" I questioned.

"Well, first, how are you so calm? That sounds very life-threatening. And secondly, what do you mean that it wasn't their faults?" He didn't sound condescending, mostly curious. I then realized that the pack probably didn't know how any of them had become vampires.

"Well, Carlisle was bitten in revenge, to punish his father who had hunted a vampire. He tried to kill himself, starve himself, isolate himself, until he realized he didn't have to hunt and kill people, he could live off animal blood. He turned Edward, Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett because they would have died otherwise. Alice was bitten by someone else to save her from James killing and torturing her – long story – and Jasper was bitten by someone else as well. I don't know his story but from what I know it wasn't his choice," I explained to him.

He nodded, seeming to contemplate what I had said. When he didn't say anything I decided to keep telling him about my birthday.

"So, after the papercut, Jasper lunged at me, overcome completely with bloodlust. Edward pushed me out of the way but he ended up throwing me into a glass table that cut my arm a lot more," I felt him take a deep breath, probably trying to calm himself. I placed my hand on his chest, feeling his warmth and his heartbeat. It seemed to help.

"Emmett and everyone else got Jasper out of the house, Carlisle made Edward go after him because it would be dangerous having him around my blood, and then Carlisle gave me stitches." I was replaying the night in my head, telling it like I was a narrator in a movie.

"Why would it be dangerous to have Edward around your blood? More so than everyone else, I mean," he asked.

"Apparently my blood smelled better than everyone else's? I don't know why, but it's one of the reasons he was fascinated by me, that and he couldn't hear my thoughts," I explained.

"He couldn't hear your… he could hear  _other's_  thoughts?" He asked, somewhat bewildered. I laughed and nodded. "Okay then, I'll ask about that later."

"Alright then," I commented, amused at the shocked look on his face. "So, he brought me home after that and we told Charlie I fell into a table – which he believed, no problem. After a couple days, Alice stopped showing up to school, and then he came here," I could hear my voice starting to shake a bit, as this was still a little painful, but I felt like I would feel better once I got it all out.

"He brought me out into the woods and then told me that his family had left and he was going as well. At first, I thought he was going to bring me with him, but he just told me that they had to go because people were beginning to notice that Carlisle wasn't aging. When I refused to let him go without me he told me he didn't want me to go with him. I stopped pushing him to bring me," I was whispering it all at this point. Paul was hardly breathing, probably so he could hear me.

"He told me it would be like he had never been here, and asked me not to do anything reckless, and then he was gone. I tried going deeper into the forest to try and find him, which was obviously the worst idea. I gave up eventually and laid down on the ground, not caring what happened. Sam found me, and you know the rest," I finished finally. I had been right, I felt lighter, like I had less baggage now that I had finally told someone else. It hadn't hurt as much to talk about as I had thought it would.

Paul didn't say anything for a few minutes, and I just lay there, feeling his heartbeat under my hand. I could tell he was trying to control his anger, I could feel his heartbeat speeding up while I was talking and now it was slowing down.

"He brought you into the woods," he said once he had slowed his heart down enough. I nodded. "What the fuck is wrong with him?" He whispered, so quietly I'm not sure if I was supposed to hear. I snorted anyways.

"Paul, I'm fine now," I assured him. "I only wanted to tell you because I know you've been wondering, everyone has been. It doesn't hurt me anymore, I've moved past it," I said and as I was saying it I realized it was definitely true. I was past it.

"I know, I know, I just… it makes me angry. I just don't understand how someone could do that, just abandon someone like that," he explained his anger. "Bella, I will never abandon you, never," he told me, moving our bodies so he was looking into my eyes. His were burning with a fierceness that made me absolutely sure he was telling me the truth.

"I know," I told him. "I won't abandon you, either."

I knew then that I would never have to worry about Paul leaving me, any of the pack leaving me. Not if they could help it. All I had to worry about was anything that tried to take them from me. Like Victoria.


	23. Chapter 23

"Bella," I was trying to get her to pay attention to me because she was tuning out, panicking. She had been doing that a lot this week and I don't think anything triggered it except her constant loop of panic-inducing scenarios of what she thought could happen this weekend. When she did tune out it wasn't just that she stopped hearing people, she left the present completely – she was on the verge of a panic attack every time.

I hadn't let her drive herself anywhere because of it, I didn't want it to happen and then have her crash her truck. She had argued at first but had eventually understood what I was saying and had let me drive.

"Bella," I repeated, both of my hands on either side of her face, my nose almost touching hers. "Bella, love, you need to stop thinking about all the ways this could go wrong. Nothing will go wrong, it's a good plan, we completely outnumber her. Bella, please, listen to me, I'm worried about you," I whispered.

That seemed to get her attention, she blinked slowly and started slowing her breathing. Eventually her breathing and heartrate were back to a normal pace and I sighed in relief and leaned my forehead against hers. It scared me when she panicked like that, I didn't like not being able to save her from this.

"I'm sorry… I'm not trying to worry you, I don't want you to see me like this, it's pathetic," she admitted to me quietly. I kissed her, pressing my lips hard against hers.

"This isn't pathetic and I'm not concerned about me being worried, I'm concerned about you being worried and scared," I told her, putting more force behind the words than was probably necessary. I just didn't want her to think she needed to keep anything from me, that I would ever judge her for this or anything else.

She leaned into me, her forehead on my chest and I wrapped my arms around her tightly, still being careful not to suffocate her.

"I just-I can't lose you, any of you," she whimpered. I had to stop myself from holding her even tighter. "Not when I've finally found where I belong, where I want to be, with all of you. You guys are my family."

"Bella, we'll all be fine, I promise none of us are going to let her hurt anyone," I assured her. She didn't respond, but her arms tightened around me and I just held her until she pulled away, hoping that my being there gave her some comfort. I held her door open for her and then I drove her home.

I couldn't stop glancing over at her on the way to her house. She was just so beautiful and I was more than in love with her. And if I was being honest, I was scared, too. I was scared of losing her, of her being hurt - not just injured or killed but I know what Edward did to her and I couldn't imagine what she would go through if she lost anyone else.

I hadn't told her this, but I know Jacob and I felt the same way. We were scared to lose any of our brothers but we were worried about what would happen if Bella lost one of us. She wouldn't just lose someone she loved, she would also blame herself for it.

So we just couldn't lose anyone. We had to win. It wasn't an option.

We were only going to Bella's to pick up some clothes for tonight and tomorrow. We were all staying at Sam and Emily's tonight, having a big fire and spending time together before the fight tomorrow. Charlie left work early to go fishing all weekend with Harry, so there wouldn't be any problems.

I stopped the truck outside her house and went to open her door. I grabbed her out of the car and moved her so she was on my back. It always made her laugh and I loved hearing her sound so happy, especially with me.

I brought her up to her room and put her down before I sat on her bed. She moved around her room, stuffing clothes into her backpack.

"Should I bring my homework?"

"Are we staying there all weekend? Or do you want to come back here tomorrow?" I asked her. I knew she wouldn't have time to work on homework tonight, not with the pack around her and wired for the fight.

"I don't know, I guess it'll just depend on how I feel… I'll bring it just in case," she decided. "Okay, good to go," she told me, grabbing my hand and pulling me down the stairs. We got in the truck and I started the drive to Sam's, hoping it wouldn't be the last one.

* * *

**AN: The rest of this chapter is Bella's POV, just to help with any confusion.**

* * *

We were all sitting around the fire, the whole pack and all the Elders. I guess I was part of the pack now, because of the Imprint – at least that's what Paul had told me. The Elders had told their history, where the shapeshifters had started. I had been most impacted by the Third wife, the woman who had sacrificed herself in order to save her husband, her people, those that she loved.

I related to that woman, I had done that last year, gone to James in order to save my mother and the rest of the Cullens. I hoped that if it came down to it tomorrow and I had to do the same thing I could. Because I loved these people, I loved them all.

"Are you okay?" Paul asked me. "You've just been really quiet since we got here, well all day, really." I was sitting in front of him, my back against his chest and his arms were around me, making sure I was warm and comfortable.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I told him, rubbing his arm, reassuringly. "Just taking everything in, that's all." I turned my head to smile at him and he smiled back at me. It always made me feel better when I saw him smiling at me, made me feel like things couldn't be too horrible if he found the time to reassure me like that.

"Everything will work out, I'll make sure of it," he promised me. I believed him, I knew that he wouldn't let anything happen that would hurt me. But I also knew that he didn't know what was going to happen, he didn't have control over that, not really.

"I know, you guys will do everything you can and I have complete and total faith in you," I told him. I needed him, and everyone else to know that I had confidence in their skills and that I knew what they were capable of. It just didn't stop me from worrying because I hated that this fight even had to happen.

He kissed my temple and then the skin behind my ear and then my jaw in the spot below my ear. It felt nice, like he wanted to memorize me, every part of me. I hoped beyond anything that there would be time for that, because I wanted the same. But not tonight, not when there was still so much that was uncertain.

"I'm going to go see Jake," I told him, kissing his cheek and smiling at him. He nodded and returned the smile before going to see Jared. It was so nice not feeling guilty for having friends outside of my boyfriend. It was nice that he didn't make me feel like shit for being friends with Jacob and for wanting to spend time with him.

"We'll talk about it later dad," I heard Jacob saying to Billy as I walked over. Billy tried to say something else before Jacob interrupted him, " _Not now_ , after tomorrow," he insisted.

He looked up and saw me then, smiling. "Hey, Bells," he greeted me. Billy turned around and I could tell he still wanted to push whatever he and Jacob had been talking about but he knew Jacob wouldn't let him. He was stubborn like that.

"Hey Jake, Billy, I didn't interrupt anything did I?" I asked, pretending I hadn't heard what little I had. I didn't want them to think I was eavesdropping or that I was pushing Jacob to talk about something he didn't want to talk about.

"No, of course not," Jacob assured me.

"I was just going to go home, Bella. I'll see you guys tomorrow after everything," He told us. He patted Jacob's arm and my hand before leaving. I felt for him, he probably hated it when Jacob went out and risked everything like this, was probably terrified he wouldn't see him again.

"So, what's up? You ready for tomorrow?" I asked him. He was excited about tomorrow, not worried at all. It made me worry about him even more.

"Yeah, of course," he assured me. "I'm ready to kill this bitch." He really did look excited about it, but I could see there was something underneath it all, something like worry. This was the first time I had seen him look worried about this.

"Jacob, are you sure you're ready?" I asked him. I didn't want to wound his pride by pointing out that I could see the strain, but I needed him to be completely sure about this. If he wasn't completely sure that could distract him or make him hesitate and that could be dangerous for him, for everyone.

"Bella, I won't let anything happen to you, I promise," he told me, looking into my eyes. I knew he was serious. He would be fine, they all would be. They had to be. I don't know what I would do if they weren't.

* * *

I woke up the next morning warm and content – until I fully woke up and remembered what day it was. Then my heart picked up the pace and was pounding against my ribs, my breathing was verging on hyperventilating, and I was getting tunnel vision. A panic attack was starting and I didn't know what to do, how to stop it, because all I could think about was how in less than twelve hours some of my friends could be dead because of me.

"Bella," I could barely hear Paul's voice, it sounded distant, not like he was right beside me. I was too far into the panic now. "Bella, I need you to calm down, try and control your breathing." I tried to listen to him, I truly did.

"I can't, I can't do it," I told him, starting to panic even more because I realized how little control I had over everything.

"Bella, Bella, it's okay, I promise everything will be okay," he was trying to reassure me, and I wanted to believe him but I couldn't, not when my brain was saying the exact opposite.

"Okay Bella, you're okay," he said one last time before climbing over top of me and kissing me. It took a moment but it shocked me enough to make me forget everything except for his lips on mine, his hand in my hair. I kissed him back, forgetting about the panic for a moment, I was just in the moment, this moment. I wished it could last forever.

He pulled away when he was sure I would be fine and we were both breathing heavily.

"How did you know to do that?" I asked him, astonished he had been able to help me stop the panic. Nobody else had really been able to do that, they had just endured it with me.

"I, uh, researched how to stop panic attacks. It said to distract yourself from them, so I just needed to distract you," he told me, staring at me like he was worried I would have another one.

"That was really smart," I told him, still trying to catch my breath. "Thank you."

"Are you okay?"

"I guess, as good as I can be today," I replied. "Today just makes it feel more real. After today someone is going to be dead, and I'm just scared it will be one of you and it will be all my fault.

"Bella, I promise you, we will be doing everything we can to make sure it is her and just her. We're doing this because it needs to be done, and we know what we're doing. It's what we're meant to do," he assured me.

"I know, I just wish it could be another way," I sighed. "Okay, let's go get breakfast," I smiled at him. He still looked concerned about me but I waved him off. "Come on! You need lots of food to make sure you are at peak performance."

Everyone else was already awake and in the kitchen. Emily had gone all out for breakfast – bacon, eggs, pancakes, toast, sausages, orange juice, coffee. They were all sitting around the table, shovelling as much food into their mouths as they possibly could. I smiled at my boys. I loved them all so much, and I was going to help them however I could.

"It all looks great, Emily," I told her, smiling gratefully at her. She smiled back at me and I could see it was the same smile that I had. It looked happy to everyone but it was hiding the fear she was really feeling. I had to look away because seeing my fear reflected back at me was making this much more difficult than it already was.

After breakfast Emily hugged us all and told us she would have dinner ready for us when we got back. I knew that she was going to make way too much food just trying to distract herself from the fact that her fiancée and her family were possibly getting hurt and there wasn't much she could do to help. I tried to hug her fiercely to show her I understood what she was feeling, and she hugged me back just as tight and I knew she understood.

Paul and I walked behind everyone else because he told them all to go ahead. He stopped me where I was supposed to separate from him.

"I-I have something for you," he told me, holding onto one of my hands.

"Because you're worried we're all going to die?" I asked him, not able to keep my fears in anymore, not when it was too close.

"No, I have complete faith in us," he told me, smiling, full of confidence. I envied that. "It's to try and give you some of the faith I have, to remind you what we're fighting for, what  _I'm_ fighting for. To remind you that we know what we're doing and we will keep you and each other safe."

I stared at him disbelievingly. I didn't know what the hell he thought he could give me that could do that because I thought it sounded impossible.

"Here." He held out his hand, his fingers closed over something. When he opened his hand, I saw a charm there on a leather strap – a bracelet that it looked like he had made me.

"It's a protection charm," he explained to me. The charm was a circle with two arrows pointing towards a small circle in the middle. "It's to remind you that we are  _meant_  to protect, it's why we went through the shift, and we do it well."

I couldn't found the words to express what I was feeling, what this meant to me. He tied it carefully around my wrist and I stared at it, trying to imagine how much time and effort he must have put into this gift.

"It's beautiful," I whispered, looking up at him and seeing him light up with pride. "I love you," I said, before snapping my mouth shut. I had meant to say I loved it – the bracelet. Shit, what the fuck was wrong with my mouth-to-brain filter?

"I-I-you-" he stammered, clearly as shocked by my confession as I had been. But then I realized it really was a confession, I had meant it, really and truly. So I kissed him with so much force and passion behind it he stumbled a little before kissing me back. I melted into the kiss, wanting to memorize it forever, wanting to live in this moment forever.

"I do, I love you," I panted when I finally broke off the kiss. "I don't want to avoid that fact anymore, I'm not scared of it. I'm only scared of losing you and I won't waste another second pretending that I'm not sure of my feelings," I told him, and myself.

"I love you too," he told me before giving me one last kiss.

"Let's go get this over with, I believe in you, in you guys. I know you can do this," I said, completely confident now. I knew they could do this.

I walked into the trees and after about ten minutes of running I found myself where I was supposed to be – in the clearing where I was supposed to wait for Victoria. And the waiting, I knew, was probably going to be the hardest part. I hated waiting.

After about thirty minutes of pacing I saw her, slowly walking out of the trees in front of me. She looked on edge like she would be ready to bolt at any moment, which was probably the case. I felt myself beginning to relax now that she was here. Whatever was going to happen would happen, and it would happen now.

"What are you doing out here all alone, without your guard dogs?" She asked me in that same girlish voice that I still didn't see as fitting to her. She was too predatory for it to match.

I laughed at her guard dog comment, despite the fact that there wasn't anything funny about this situation. I couldn't help it, I laughed at really inappropriate times.

"I managed to get away from them," I told her, and technically I wasn't lying, I did get away from them, in a sense. She cocked her head to the side, questioning why I had left my protection and safety, while taking a few steps closer to me. I forced myself to stand my ground.

"This has gone on long enough, and it's between you and me," I explained. Now it was her turn to laugh, and she laughed quite a bit. She thought my sacrifice was stupid. That was good, it meant she underestimated me and didn't know what we were planning. I could play that, pretend I was terrified but felt like I needed to do this – because it wouldn't exactly be pretending.

"So, what?" She asked me after she had finally finished laughing. "You think you're going to take me on yourself?"

"No, I'm just here to get it over with. I'm not naïve enough to believe I could ever take you on myself," I told her. "And I'm just tired of my friends being in the middle of it all, this isn't about them. And," I added, as an afterthought, "I don't even know why you're still after me."

"Because your boyfriend," she snarled at me, looking even more dangerous now, "killed James. He was my mate, and you're Edward's mate, it's only fair," she explained her logic calmly, as if she was just talking about a game or something that wasn't my life.

"Uhm, sorry to disappoint, but haven't you noticed? It hasn't been the Cullens that have been after you," I pointed out to her. I was stalling now, to give the boys enough time to sneak up and surround her as closely as they could before she noticed.

"Yes, I have noticed that, why aren't they the ones protecting you? Why has it been the mutts? Is your boyfriend's family scared of me?" She was trying to taunt me, possibly them, I wasn't sure, but I didn't care.

"They left. The Cullens left months ago," I told her, waiting to see her reaction. I was happy to see her shock, it definitely meant she would be listening to what I had to say. "You didn't know? Yeah, Edward actually didn't give a shit about me," I laughed at the fact that she was chasing me, trying to get back at someone that didn't care.

"What?" She hissed, clearly annoyed at the fact that she hadn't known any of this. "Of course he cared, he had gone to so many lengths just to keep you alive, he  _killed_  James to keep you alive!" She was getting angry now, her voice getting higher and her eyes getting an even wilder look than before.

"I thought he cared, too, but I guess he just felt responsible to keep me alive because he thought it was his fault I had been put in danger," I told her calmly. I realized now that none of this really mattered to me anymore. I just kept feeling my bracelet, knowing I would be safe because I knew Paul would do everything to protect me and the pack.

Victoria had started pacing, obviously trying to calm herself down. I knew she was still going to try and kill me, she didn't care if it wouldn't get back at Edward. But she did still want her revenge on him, she would just need to find another way to get it.

"Where did he go?" She asked me, and I could see her trying to restrain herself from ripping me apart right now.

I was just about to tell her that I had no idea when I heard growling – a  _lot_  of growling. It was all around us and I knew that they were close enough to hear us now.

I backed away from her, never turning, until I felt Paul's nose against my back. I smiled, seeing the shock all over her face at the fact that I had managed to trap her here. I let Jacob and Paul step in front of me and I stood there, waiting for the fighting to begin.

She screamed and I saw her try and run at me, her hair a fiery blur. But then a giant black mass hit her from the side. Sam was leaning over her, his jaws snapping at her face. I thought he might have had her but she kicked him off, his body flying through the air away from her.

I was tense, and in front of me Jake and Paul were tense, too. I knew they wanted to fight her, kill her, but they were put with me because they both would have been too distracted by my well-being and could have gotten hurt or someone else hurt.

Jared and Embry both jumped at her this time, jaws snapping and snarling, claws trying to tear her apart. She was too enraged though, she got out of their grasp. It was just a flurry of movement and sound to me, I could barely keep up.

I saw Sam, black and shadow-like, Jared, brown fur and not quite as big as Sam, and Embry, sleek and gray, surrounding her, jumping at her. She couldn't get out of their circle but they also didn't seem to be able to land a blow.

I looked around, wanting to help. Maybe I could distract her, making it easier for them to attack her. All I saw were twigs and grass. I would have to manage with the twigs.

I picked up one of the thicker ones, hoping this would work. I took a deep breath, steadying my heart rate – and then dragged the stick across the inside of my elbow.

 _Shit that hurts_. I dropped the stick, putting my hand over the cut. I looked over to the fight and saw her struggling now. I had noticed earlier that her eyes weren't the blood red that they were when she was fed. They had been a solid black – she was starving. And now she was torn between coming at me and fighting off the wolves surrounding her.

After what felt like hours, but was probably only a few minutes, of Sam, Embry, and Jared lunging at her, Sam finally managed to get a hold of her arm. I heard a screeching noise, high-pitched, like metal being ripped apart. I wasn't sure if it was her arm being torn off or her screaming.

I saw her arm thrown across the clearing, and then it seemed like time sped up, and her body was being torn apart and thrown around the clearing. They were keeping the body parts separate until they burned it all.

I went over to her arm, it was pretty close to me. I felt Paul following me, even though there wasn't any danger anymore, she was about to be ashes on the ground. I pulled the lighter I had brought with me out of my pocket, lit it, and then tossed it onto her arm.

It burned a sickly-sweet scent making me cover my nose. It was too strong, I almost couldn't stand it. I backed away, turning to look at Paul. He was beautiful, whether he was a wolf or a human. I touched the fur on his face and he leaned into my hand, just like the time I had woken him up on Sam's deck. That seemed like so long ago.

"Can we go home now?" I asked him, knowing he was only too glad to get me away from this. He nodded, nudging his nose against my shoulder and my throat. I laughed, and we walked back to Emily's. The boys would follow after making sure all of her was in the fire and she was ash. It was finally over.

* * *

"Bella, I just-why-what the fuck?" Paul demanded when we got back to Emily's and he had shifted back to human. I just raised an eyebrow at him, questioning what his problem was. "What were you thinking? Cutting open your arm with a  _vampire_  right in front of you? That's quite possibly the dumbest thing-"

I cut him off, holding my hand in front of his face. "Dumb? That was the  _reason_  they finally got an opening. She was starving and I distracted her, made it harder for her to decide what she wanted more. Them or me," I told him, crossing my arms across my chest when I had finished explaining.

"How do you know she was starving?" He asked me, clearly interested in my knowledge of vampires. I guess I should probably teach them some stuff now that we had the time.

"Her eyes, they were black, not red. Black means hungry, red means they've fed recently on a human, gold means fed recently on animals. The darker they get, the longer it's been since they've fed." He looked surprised, I guess they didn't know it was that easy to tell these things. I mean, they probably didn't care much to be honest. If a vampire was attacking someone, they attacked, it was easy as that. I understood, but maybe this could help them.

"…oh. I didn't know that," he said simply. I smiled at him, I had been expecting him to get upset at me for endangering myself anyways. "But still," he continued in a voice that was meant to scold me, "it was still dangerous."

"And?" I asked stubbornly. I didn't have any regrets about distracting her, it had helped, and may have stopped them from getting hurt. I would never apologize for helping to save my friends.

"'And?' What do you mean ' _and?_ ' You could have been hurt!" He was so frustrated with me right now, not angry, he just didn't understand why I had done it.

"Paul," I said calmly, smiling at him and taking a step towards him, my hand on his chest. "It wasn't any more dangerous than what you guys were doing, I wanted to help, I did help. I won't apologize for that, I won't apologize for trying to save the people I love," and with that last word I leaned forward and kissed him.

Without any hesitation he kissed me back, picking me up and making me laugh. I guess he decided to forgive me because he laughed, too. His lips were soft against mine, his hands were strong and comforting on my sides, and it hit me how lucky we were to have each other. We had no vampires chasing us anymore, no problems except homework, school drama, and graduating this year. We could just be normal teenagers right now.

After a while he pulled away, staring at me, smiling. "What?" I questioned, wondering why he was staring.

"You," he kissed my forehead, "are so beautiful. I'm still astounded at my luck. I love you," he said, his smile widening when I blushed at him calling me beautiful. He put his hand on my cheek, his thumb rubbing against my cheekbone. I closed my eyes and leaned into the touch. He was just so warm and it was so comforting.

"I love you, too," I sighed, opening my eyes and smiling back at him.


	24. Chapter 24

Paul and I had gone inside to help Emily and to clean my arm, make sure it doesn't get infected. She was a flurry of movements, so anxious for Sam and the boys to get home.

"So, everyone is okay? Nobody was hurt?" She asked, concern thick in her voice. I looked at Paul – I didn't think anyone was hurt but I wasn't sure.

"No, Emily, they're all fine, nobody was hurt. Just her," he reassured her, hugging her quickly. "Now, they'll be home soon, they're just trying to be as thorough as possible. What can we do to help?"

She hadn't been able to really do anything while we were gone, she had been too stressed out. She told us to help her make sandwiches and cut up some carrots and cucumbers for snacks. By the time they were back we had almost finished.

Emily and Sam didn't say anything, they just ran to each other and threw their arms around each other. They just stood there, holding each other and gathering comfort that they were both okay. Sam kissed all of Emily's scars like he always did when he came home and she laughed. Everyone else just looked riled up and excited to have gotten into a fight and to have won. Paul, Jared, and Embry were being rowdy teenage boys and I smiled fondly at them.

Jacob came over to me to hug me and looked like he was going to try and say something about my helping. But before I could say anything to him, Paul said loudly: "Don't worry Jake, I already talked to her about it. She said she isn't sorry and that nothing is going to change that. She was helping us and, honestly, she wasn't wrong."

Jacob raised an eyebrow at Paul's words, but shrugged. I wasn't hurt, and I wasn't sorry, and we all knew I was too stubborn to change my mind.

"Can we talk outside?" I asked him.

"Uh, yeah," he said slowly, looking suspicious about why I would want to talk to him privately. He followed me outside and we went and sat in the back of my truck.

"Okay, so, what were you and Billy talking about last night? If you don't mind me asking," I added. I hoped he didn't mind, he was still my best friend and I wanted to be able to talk to him about everything.

"So, you did hear us," he laughed. "I wasn't sure, you hadn't said anything."

"I figured I would wait, I didn't want to distract you or anything before today," I shrugged. He smiled gratefully at me.

"Thanks Bells, I just needed to only focus on today, I couldn't be thinking about anything else," he explained, which I understood. "I, uh, I Imprinted on someone… A new girl at school actually," he told me, blushing and trying to hide the huge grin on his face and failing.

"Really?" I exclaimed. "This is great! She's obviously gonna be great! We can all hang out!" I was so excited about this. I was happy for Jacob, he deserved the chance to love and be loved in return, he deserved to be happy.

"Okay, what's her name? Have you talked to her yet?" I needed to know as much about her as I possibly could, I hoped we would become good friends.

"I didn't talk to her, I ran out of there as soon as I saw her and I couldn't think straight. It was a couple days ago and I didn't want to be distracted or anything so I bolted," he told me, sounding really sad about this.

"I'm sorry Jake," I told him sincerely. If it hadn't been for me he would have had the opportunity to talk to her. He wouldn't have felt like he couldn't make time for her.

"It's not your fault Bella, I just wanted to wait until this danger had passed and then I could spend time getting to know her. Now, I'll have all the time in the world," he told me, smiling. I smiled back, glad that he wasn't upset.

"Okay, so what's her name?"

"Lydia. And she's beautiful, Bells," he gushed.

"Okay, so, on Monday, you go to school and you introduce yourself, get to know her," I told him. I would help him through this as much as I could. I owed him that much.

"Okay, okay, I will," he told me, sounding like he was trying to convince himself that he  _could_  do it. "What if I get nervous though? What if I look at her and forget what I'm going to say?" He really did sound nervous. I laughed.

"Jake, you'll be fine! You just faced a vampire – who could have  _killed_  you – and you're fine. This is the person that keeps you grounded, you'll be great." He looked slightly more reassured and we started talking about what he should say to her.

* * *

"Come on Bella, you can't leave, we're gonna have a party tonight to celebrate!" Embry whined, Jared and Jacob nodding their heads vigorously.

"For the last time, I'm not  _leaving_ , I'll be back in a few hours! I just want to wash these clothes so Charlie doesn't see the blood and question what I was doing this weekend. I'll be back to celebrate with you, I promise," I told them, grabbing my stuff.

"Okay, fine! But only a few hours, or we're dragging you back here!" Jared informed me. Paul and I laughed because we knew he really would.

Paul drove me home, I was too tired and I could lean against him, soaking up his warmth. We didn't talk, we didn't need to. When we got to my house, we went in and I got all my laundry from my room to add to my bloody clothes. After I had started the washing machine I grabbed another set of clothes for tomorrow because I was wearing the extra clothes that I had brought.

We sat in the living room while we waited for the laundry to be put in the dryer. At first we just sat and talked and it was nice, sweet. But then he pulled me into his lap and then I had my knees on either side of his legs and I wrapped my arms around his neck, he put his hands on my hips. I pressed my lips to his, running my tongue along his bottom lip. He opened his mouth and my tongue slid along his. I sighed and slid one hand into his hair, the other one on the back of his neck. He moaned quietly and moved his hands up my back, his skin soft and warm against mine, making me shiver pleasantly.

I pressed my body against his, the kiss becoming deeper as he leaned back and held me even tighter against him. He moved one of his hands across my stomach and then returned it to the middle of my back while the other one moved down and grabbed my ass. He rolled his hips up into mine and I moaned again, feeling him straining against his pants under me.

He pulled his mouth away from mine and I whined which turned into another moan when he started kissing just behind my ear and then started making his way down my neck towards my collar bone.

"That feels so good, Paul," I sighed. He rolled his hips up into mine again, earning another moan from me.

"Fuck, you're so beautiful," he groaned, his voice husky and  _shit_ , that was so hot.

I grabbed his face and pulled it back up for his lips to meet mine again. It was desperate and we were both moaning and wanting more. His hands were on my ass and mine were in his hair and it probably would have gone farther.

Until Paul stopped abruptly and pulled away looking pissed. I was a little out of it and it took me a moment to take in what was happening.

"Wha-Why did you stop?" I practically whined at him, disappointed at the sudden stop to the best make-out session I had ever had. He shushed me and I started to recognize his body language – his eyes were alert, his body tense, his arms protective around me. He was hearing or smelling something that concerned him, so I stayed quiet, getting off his lap so that he could move quickly if he needed to.

He was up and crouching in front of me in a blur of movement, and despite the fact that I was possibly in danger, I was calm. I touched my bracelet, Paul would protect me, I would be fine. I heard the front door open and I heard a growl growing in Paul's chest. I reached out to touch his back to calm him down and I felt him become a little less tense in feeling that I was there.

"Bella?" I heard a familiar voice say from the door. I was momentarily shocked into silence.

"Alice?" I asked, barely louder than a whisper. She was one of the last people that I ever expected back here. Paul realized that I knew her though and relaxed a little more, sitting beside me but he still stayed between me and the door, his body tense and ready to spring at any moment.

She walked into the room, her movements just as graceful as I remembered, all of her was just as I remembered her. But her nose was wrinkled like she smelled something terrible.

"Bella," she said my name again, this time sounding confused and staring at Paul like he had personally offended her. He just looked at her apprehensively. "Bella, why is there a wolf in your house?"

"How did you know Paul was a wolf?" I asked incredulously.

"I can  _smell_  him," she sounded absolutely disgusted. I guess that's why her nose was wrinkled.

"Okay then," I said, not wanting to pursue that any farther. "Alice, this is my boyfriend Paul. Paul, this is Alice Cullen," I introduced them. I could see comprehension dawn on Paul's face and I saw further annoyance pass over Alice's

"Your  _boyfriend_? You're dating a wolf? Are you insane? Wolves are dangerous, Bella," she told me in the same tone of voice someone would use to explain a simple concept to a child.

"We can be," Paul admitted, not sounding the least bit bothered by what Alice was saying. "But I don't think we're any more dangerous than vampires."

"He's got a point," I told Alice. She looked like she wanted to argue further but I interrupted her. "Anyways, what are you doing here, Alice? As far as I knew you guys had all disappeared off the face of the Earth," I told her, a slight edge to my voice. I wasn't still bitter that Edward had left me, I was over that. But Alice and I had been best friends and she had just abandoned me and lost all contact when I had needed my best friend more than anything.

"I, uh, I had a vision," she said having the decency to look a little guilty for abandoning me. "You and Victoria were-"

"In a field, talking? Yeah, that happened a couple hours ago," I told her.

"But, how are you alive? I just saw you talking and then everything was black, I couldn't see any more than that," she said, sounding confused and annoyed. I was also a little confused, why hadn't she seen the rest of it?

"Well, the pack and I trapped-" My explanation was interrupted by the phone ringing. "Can you guys wait here? That might be Charlie. Paul can explain everything if you want," I told Alice before running to the kitchen to answer it.

"Hello?" I answered. I waited for a response. Nothing. "Hello? Is anyone there?" I asked, thinking maybe I had answered too quickly and they hadn't heard me. I just got silence, then a click and the dial tone. They had hung up. I put the phone back and walked to the living room.

Paul was just finishing telling Alice about Victoria being killed. She looked mildly impressed.

"Was it Charlie?" Paul asked when he was done the explanation.

"No, I don't know who it was, they never said anything," I told them, unfazed. It wasn't that weird, it had probably just been a wrong number. "Anyways, sorry to worry you or whatever, but I'm okay," I told Alice.

She looked confused, "What do you mean 'or whatever'?"

"Well, I don't know if that's why you came here or if you just felt obligated to," I told her honestly. This only seemed to confuse her more.

"Bella, we're best friends, I care about you, of course I was worried about you," she told me sounding exasperated at having to explain this to me.

"Sorry, I didn't realize we were still best friends," I knew I sounded like a bitch but I was just trying to be honest. I wasn't exactly pissed at her, not now that she was stood in front of me. I had been mad at them before but after what happened today I decided to let it go. My life was full of happiness and love right now, I didn't want to dwell in the past and ruin that.

"What do you mean?" She asked, sounding hurt.

"Just, after you guys left, I was a mess and I kept trying to talk to you because I really needed you. You never answered any of my emails, because you never got them, because you deleted your email account. Edward told me he didn't want me anymore and I just assumed that meant all of you," I confessed. Paul put his arm around my shoulders and I smiled up at him, reassuring him that I was fine.

"Bella, I'm so sorry," she took a few steps towards me, but not any closer, eyeing Paul warily. He hadn't moved or reacted at all to her moving forwards, I think he knew that he needed to let this just happen. "Edward told us – me – to leave you alone, let you move on. He told us that he just couldn't put you in any more danger and that was why we all had to leave. We all just wanted what was best for you…" She trailed off, possibly realizing what a half-assed excuse that sounded like for abandoning me, especially with Victoria still after me.

"I get it, you guys wanted to protect me from yourselves. But don't say you wanted what was best for me, because nobody ever actually asked or listened to my opinions of what was best for me," I pointed out. "Not that I regret anything because I'm now very happy, but it would have been nice to have been given a choice." She looked slightly uncomfortable, possibly ashamed.

I heard the washer stop and I looked at Paul, seeing if he would put it all in the dryer. He nodded and left the room. Alice followed his movements with her eyes, and once he was out of the room she was beside me on the couch, grabbing my hands. I twitched a bit, I had forgotten how cold vampire's hands were, it was strange after getting used to the heat of werewolves.

"Bella, please, I'm so sorry," she pleaded with me. I was about to say that I wasn't upset, there wasn't anything to be forgiven. Until she continued with, "But please Bella, werewolves are dangerous, you shouldn't be alone with them, you shouldn't even be around them at all. You don't know what they can do to you!" She sounded desperate and a little crazed, her eyes darting from me to the doorway where Paul would come back in.

"Are you finished?" I asked and I was surprised to hear how cold and calm my voice sounded because the rest of me was shaking with anger. It was one thing to leave and think they were all protecting me and doing what was best for me, but to then come back and criticize my friends, my boyfriend, how I lived my life? That was going too far.

"Wha-Bella, I'm just-"

"You're just overstepping," I told her, cutting her off. "First thing, Paul can still hear you," I told her, and I heard Paul laugh from the other room. "Secondly, Paul and the pack have been the people  _protecting_  me, after you and your family  _abandoned_  me. I'm not mad about that anymore, I don't care. But to then come back and tell me how to live my life after you all stepped out of it? I will not allow that. And I will not allow you to say a bad word against the man I love and my family," I finished, my voice slightly louder than necessary out of anger.

"You-you love him?" She questioned, and I nodded briskly, not trusting my voice right now. "Well, how do you know he loves you? What if he's just pretending to take advantage-"

The rest of her argument was cut off by a low, dangerous growl behind me in the doorway. I wasn't worried about me, but I didn't think I would be able to explain away the destruction of Paul shifting in the house to Charlie. I quickly got off the couch and moved to stand in front of him. I touched his cheek gently, rubbing my thumb along his cheekbone. I brought his hand to my chest to feel my heart beat and he buried his head in my hair, taking in my scent. "It's okay, it's okay," I whispered to him and I felt him calm down.

He took a deep breath then looked at Alice, "You can say anything you want about me except that. Don't  _ever_  question my feelings for her, don't  _ever_  assume you know what this is," he told her quietly, still trying to keep control of his anger.

I turned around to see Alice's face and she looked confused and… shocked? Surprised? Paul had put his arms around me and I smiled softly when I felt him kiss the top of my head.

"I'm just trying to protect her, I only want her to be happy and safe," she justified. She sounded extremely defensive now, which I honestly thought was amusing. She had no problem criticizing him and the pack but couldn't handle being criticized herself.

"Well, she's both, no thanks to you or your family," he said and I knew he was gritting his teeth. He never really said anything to me about it but I knew it made him angry that they abandoned me. "I love her, more than I can explain, she is everything to me and will be until the day I die. I would never hurt her and I will do anything and everything to see her happy," he told her.

"You've Imprinted on her," she realized, her eyes widening. Paul and I both nodded, but said nothing else. "Oh," was all she said, possibly she didn't know what else to say.

"Well, you can stay if you want, I have no problems if you want to, but Paul and I need to get back to the rez. We only came back to wash my clothes because they had blood on them and to grab some for tomorrow," I told her.

"Why were your clothes bloody?" She asked me sharply.

"I helped with Victoria," was all I said, I didn't really feel like getting into it again.

She must have understood because she didn't push it. "Okay, well, I actually can't really stay… I have to get back and let everyone know that you're fine, and I have to call Edward to let him know as well," she told me, sounding apologetic. I wasn't expecting her to stay, but I thought I would offer anyways.

"Why do you have to call Edward?" I asked, thinking that was weird.

"He doesn't live with us right now. He didn't handle leaving you very well and keeps to himself," she explained. Part of me wanted to question that but the more dominant part of me just wanted to put him behind me, I wanted to move on and be with Paul. I couldn't do that if I was constantly worrying about Edward.

"Oh, okay," was all I said.

"Okay," she said, nodding. "We miss you, Bella. We really do," she said and the next second she was gone. I was glad she had left after saying that because I don't know how I would have responded. Because, yes, I did miss them sometimes, but then I would look at Paul, the pack, my friends, and I would realize everything else I would have missed out on if they had stayed. I was happy that I had moved on and found this life.

"Okay, let's get back to Sam's," I told Paul, grabbing his hand and my bag. I started walking towards the front door but he stopped me.

"Do you want to talk about what just happened?" He asked me quietly, hesitant. I turned around to look at him and he looked so vulnerable, he kept his eyes down, staring at the floor and his shoulders were hunched, like he was trying to make himself as small as possible.

I walked towards him and stood so that I could look up into his eyes. I smiled at him, and wrapped my arms around his neck, standing on my tip toes and bringing him down to meet my mouth to his. I felt him breathe a sigh of relief before he wrapped his arms around me, picking me up and kissing me back. I wrapped my legs around his waist and relaxed into the kiss, opening my mouth to give his tongue better access. It was all lazy movements, just us relaxing into the kiss.

I pulled away first, and smiled at him again, resting my forehead on his. "Paul, I just want to be with you, with our family. There's not much to talk about anyways. The Cullen's are my past, you are my present and my future. And that's exactly how I want it."

* * *

It had been a month since the 'Vampire Confrontation' as we all liked to call it. We hadn't heard from any of the Cullens or any other vampires since then, and it had been one of the best months of my life. My relationship with the pack was so strong now that we had gone through Victoria, my friends at school were great and Mike had begun to realize what a jerk he had been (though he would never admit it), and I felt so secure in who I was because of all of this. But Paul was the reason for all of this positive change in my life, I couldn't imagine where I would be without him.

Paul and I had decided to wait a year to make any college plans, because we hadn't had much time to decide what we wanted to do after high school – we had just been trying to survive until graduation. We had the rest of our lives to work and we just wanted to take a year to appreciate everything we still had.

I rolled over in the bed, trying my best not to wake him up. He just looked so peaceful when he slept and I didn't wake up before him that often. I reached my hand out to run it through his hair, which was getting a little long. He looked cute, but I knew he would need to cut it soon. The second my hand touched him he shifted slightly, taking in a deep breath. He was starting to wake up and I smiled at him as he began to open his eyes slowly.

"Good morning," I greeted softly, leaning over to kiss his nose.

"Mmm, morning," he hummed contentedly, smiling at me. He reached out to wrap his arms around me, kissing all over my face and neck, making me giggle. "It's always so nice waking up to your beautiful face beside me," he told me, making me blush.

I nuzzled my face into his neck in an attempt to get even closer to him. He always smelled so good and was so warm and comforting. He was just perfect and beautiful and I loved him so much.

"I don't think I'll ever get used to this," I admitted to him. "It's just so surreal, I never thought I could be this happy with every aspect of my life, I never thought I would have someone as wonderful and perfect as you."

"I am pretty wonderful," he said, making me laugh again.

"I agree. And you would be even more wonderful if you made me some pancakes," I teased him. I brought my face away from his neck so I could smile at him.

He smirked and rolled his eyes at me. "I guess I could do that for you," he conceded. My smile grew even bigger, he made the most amazing pancakes. I jumped out of bed to grab pants so we could go downstairs.

Paul groaned behind me, sitting up, "How am I supposed to concentrate on anything when you're standing there with no pants on?" He whined at me.

I turned around and smirked at him, raising an eyebrow. "I'm so sorry," I apologized, feigning innocence. "I could just put these pants on, would that be better?" I teased him, holding up a pair of sweats that I had found in my closet.

"No!" He shouted desperately, making me smile mischievously. I walked back over to the bed and sat in his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck. I kissed his jaw and down his neck, earning a quiet moan from him.

"Well, I suppose we could wait a bit for breakfast," he breathed out, running his hands up my back. I hummed my agreement, bringing my mouth up to his. We could definitely wait to eat breakfast.

* * *

**And that's the end of the story! I can't believe it's finally done, I've been working on this story for over a year and I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. This was my first multi-chapter story so I appreciate everyone who stuck with it and with me.**

**Also, the phone call Bella got - Edward's call to check up on her. He didn't answer because he knew she was safe and he** _had_  promised that it would be like he never existed.  
I'd had a struggle over whether or not to put any of the Cullen's in the story but I thought that Bella needed some closure on that front, so I put Alice in.  
Also I know it was a little bit of Cullen-bashing, but just to be clear, I like the Cullen's but I also like to believe that in this story Bella realized how shitty it was for them all to abandon her and that she deserved better and so she stood up for herself.

**And that's all I have to say! Thank you again! xxx**


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